<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>I Hate You by MrsDOBrien</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741800">I Hate You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDOBrien/pseuds/MrsDOBrien'>MrsDOBrien</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>But are they?, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, FWB, Friends With Benefits, Sneaking Around, anger hookups, relieve tension, secret</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:42:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>36,545</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsDOBrien/pseuds/MrsDOBrien</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Lily have always fought, this year is no different. James likes to make Lily angry, but now she has a new way of coping with her anger towards him that throws him off entirely.</p>
<p>Reposted from FF.net</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>James and Lily Fanfics</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Starting Off Right</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The marauders had all four been sitting in the corner of the Gryffindor common room for an hour. Remus was helping Peter with his potions essay while James and Sirius played wizard's chess. They wanted to be outside enjoying the nice weather before summer left them, but Remus had insisted on doing his essay even though it was just assigned that day. Peter had agreed, saying that he wanted to start fifth year off right by not falling behind right away and he wanted to be able to do the essay with Remus. James had sympathized with that and gave up the fight, convincing Sirius that they could have fun inside as well.</p>
<p>"You may as well just do your essays now as well," Remus told them. "You'll just have to do them later when Peter and I are done and want to be doing something else. We're going to have completely opposite schedules. "</p>
<p>"Nah," said Sirius as he made the final move to checkmate James, "by the time Prongs and I are going to do this essay, you'll already have another one to do. Then when we get to that one you'll have the next. It won't catch up to us until the end of the year, and that's assuming we do all the assignments anyway!"</p>
<p>Remus rolled his eyes. "Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."</p>
<p>James smiled at his friends. He didn't want to tell Sirius that he did, in fact, plan on doing all of his homework. He always found time to do it while Sirius was off with a girl or something. "Up for another?" he asked, seeing how little progress Peter had made so far and knowing they'd be there for a while.</p>
<p>"Ugh!" exclaimed Sirius. "I'm sorry mate, but I can't keep playing this game. It's boring winning all the time." He winked at James as he said it.</p>
<p>James laughed. "Alright, then what do you propose we do?"</p>
<p>At that, Sirius got a mischievous look on his face. "Bet you I can pull I bigger jinx than you without getting caught."</p>
<p>"You're on!"</p>
<p>"Really guys?" Remus sighed.</p>
<p>"No worries Moony" James assured, "it's all harmless. Like Peter said, we wouldn't want to start fifth year off on the wrong foot."</p>
<p>From there, Sirius started and the boys took turns playing little pranks on the other people in the common room. This went on for a while, the pranks getting bigger each time as each boy tried to one-up the other's previous attempt.</p>
<p>"Nice one!" laughed James after Sirius had cast a bedazzling hex to briefly change a fourth year's robes into an invisibility cloak, making their body disappear for a minute.</p>
<p>"Took the inspiration from you, naturally. I'll admit that one made me nervous. I thought for sure that we'd get caught for that one. I mean, he definitely noticed! But he didn't look over this way and seems to have calmed down now that he's back to normal. I'm calling that a win. Top that!"</p>
<p>James thought for a moment. He too was surprised that that wasn't the end of their game, and now he had to go again. Sirius saying that he took inspiration from James, however, gave him an idea. He just needed to choose the right target. Finally he saw a second year boy sat with a group of friends in the opposite corner. "Watch this" he laughed to Sirius as he sent an instant scalping hex the boy's way.</p>
<p>Immediately the boy's head went completely bald and his friends gasped, alerting him to the situation. They all started to laugh, as did James and Sirius, but to their horror the boy started to cry. By the time James was ready to send the hair regrowth spell that way and fix the mess it was too late. Lily Evans had already walked over to the boy trying to console him.</p>
<p>"What happened sweetie?" they heard her say in a soft voice to the young boy as she knelt down beside him.</p>
<p>"My-My-My… My hair's gone!" he cried.</p>
<p>"That's okay" Lily said, again in her calm, comforting voice. "We can get it fixed, no problem."</p>
<p>"I can't go to Madame Pomfrey!" he said horrified. "I can't leave the tower and let everyone see me like this too!"</p>
<p>"Don't worry. I can fix it for you right here. See?" She cast a quick hair regrowth spell and let the boy reach up to feel it. "All better?"</p>
<p>He visibly relaxed and stopped crying, but his face remained red from embarrassment upon realizing that everyone in the common room was watching the scene.</p>
<p>Once he calmed down Lily stood back up. Dropping the comforting voice, however, she addressed the group sternly. "This is why you shouldn't play around with hexes. No harm no foul, so I won't bother asking who did it. Just take this as a lesson. It could have ended up much worse."</p>
<p>She started to walk away before one of the boy's friends spoke up. "It wasn't any of us! We were all just sitting here talking when it happened out of nowhere."</p>
<p>Lily looked confused for a moment and started looking around the room. Once the kid had calmed down, everyone stopped watching and went back to what they were doing. Everyone except James and Sirius, that is. "Don't worry," Lily said to the group of second years. "I'll handle it." Her eyes narrowed on James and he gulped as she started making her way across the room towards him.</p>
<p>"I think that is officially victory for me" Sirius laughed.</p>
<p>James punched his friend in the arm and told him to shut up. He fixed his face into his usual cocky smile as Lily approached them. "Evans!" he called. "So nice of you to join us. Care for a round of wizard's chess? I've been destroying Sirius here and he needs a break. Or did you come over here to ask me out? I'm flattered, really, but I'm a bit busy tonight. How's Saturday?"</p>
<p>"Don't give me that Potter. I know it was you who hexed that boy!"</p>
<p>"Ah yes. I saw all that from across the room here. Tragic thing. Good thing you were there to save the day. No wonder Dumbledore made you a prefect this year!"</p>
<p>"Save it. I already know it was you. Stop wasting my time. Why'd you do it? Picking on people your own size getting too scary? Need to pick on little kids to feel good about yourself?"</p>
<p>"Come off it. It was just a bit of fun. You said it yourself: no harm, no foul. I was going to send the regrowth spell over his way soon; you just beat me to it. Besides, he overreacted. He's a Gryffindor! He should be stronger than that. He won't fare well against any Slytherins if that's how he reacts."</p>
<p>Lily rolled her eyes. "He's just a kid!"</p>
<p>"Sirius and I were second years when Avery used the same hex on us, and we didn't have Miss Perfect there to comfort us. We didn't even know about the regrowth spell until the next day!"</p>
<p>"Well I always knew you were just as bad as the Slytherins. Worse actually since you're older and should know better."</p>
<p>That finally broke James. Up until now he had been calm, but he hated being compared to Slytherin scum. He was nothing like them. They were all blood-purists and were actually out to hurt people. His pranks were always just in good fun. "That's not true and you know it. I just did it as a joke and was going to fix it immediately. Avery did that three years ago because it was the worst thing he could think of. That's what they all do. They do whatever they think will cause the most harm. You're just too blind to see that." With that he walked away up to the boys' dormitory with Sirius following.</p>
<p>"You can't let them get away with things anymore Remus, you're a prefect too now" was the last thing they heard from Lily as they made their way up the stairs.</p>
<p>Sirius was smiling like a mad man when they walked into the room. "I won our game, but you definitely won that fight! She always reverts back to comparing us to Slytherins when she has nothing else. And your closer? Bloody hell that was gold. You should have seen her face!"</p>
<p>James couldn't help but smile. As mad as Lily made him, he loved fighting with her. He'd fancied her since first year and she's hated him almost as long. The only time she ever pays any attention to him is when they are fighting. Sometimes he picks a fight with her just for that reason. He likes to think that she enjoys it to somewhat, if not for getting his attention then for the adrenaline rush that comes with a good row.</p>
<p>Not long after James and Sirius came upstairs, Remus and Peter joined them.</p>
<p>"Well congratulations James," Remus said, "You've managed to make Lily angry and it's just the first week. Not to mention that she bit my head off after you left."</p>
<p>"We heard the beginning of that," Sirius commented.</p>
<p>"Yeah," James agreed. "Sorry you were collateral damage."</p>
<p>Remus sighed. "The worst part is that she has a point. Dumbledore made me a prefect, and I'm sure that he is expecting me to keep you two in line. Please don't make it difficult like this for the entire year."</p>
<p>"Don't worry Moony. They'll make it difficult for the next three years!" joked Peter. The four marauders laughed and the subject was dropped. They were on to discussing more important things like what dinner was going to be.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Confusing Times</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After dinner, the marauders went their separate ways for a while. Remus and Peter headed to the library to finish their potions essays that they hadn't finished amid the commotion earlier. Sirius had a "date" with some Hufflepuff girl and left immediately after dinner to go meet her.</p><p>"Why so early?" James had asked. "Just play one game of exploding snap with me then meet her later."</p><p>"Can't Prongsie," Sirius replied, "I have to meet her early because I have other ahh… commitments once we are through." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p>"You've got two lined up for tonight? When did you find the time?"</p><p>"I have my ways."</p><p>James rolled his eyes at his best mate. Looks like he was doing homework tonight after all. He wouldn't go to the library though. It was too stuffy and he wasn't in the mood to answer Peter's questions. He was happy to help his friend when needed, but Moony had this one under control. When alone, he much preferred to find an empty classroom to work in.</p><p>After getting back to the room, James packed his bag and set off again in search of an empty classroom. The only issue with this strategy was that classrooms were often occupied by couples. Normally, he would use the map to avoid having to knock or barge in, but Sirius took it tonight so James would have to take his time getting a spot the old fashioned way.</p><p>He had found a room quickly enough. He had gotten out there fairly early before most couples had met up. It took him a while to do his potions essay. It wasn't hard, really, but his motivation wasn't there. By the time he finished it was just before curfew. He had wanted to explore a bit, but he hadn't brought his invisibility cloak with him. Cursing himself, he packed up his bag and started heading towards Gryffindor tower. He knew the way back well enough and wasn't out after curfew needing to be careful, so he let his mind wander from his surroundings. He was trying to decide if he wanted to turn in for the night or grab the cloak and go back out, when suddenly he was pulled into an empty classroom.</p><p>He hadn't seen it coming. He was already inside and the door closed before he whipped around with his wand in hand to face whoever pulled him in here.</p><p>"Evans?" he panted, confused but lowering his wand. She looked miffed, so he didn't put it away yet, just in case. There had been more than one occasion when wands were drawn during a fight between the two. "Can I help you with something?"</p><p>Lily stood there but didn't say anything. She seemed to be confused by the situation as well.</p><p>"Look, I was just heading back to the dorms and would like to get there before curfew so I don't have to worry about Flich. I don't fancy getting a detention right now, so if there's no – " but suddenly he couldn't talk. At first he thought that Lily had cast Langlock to get him to stop talking, but quickly realized that the thing stopping him from talking was Lily herself. She was kissing him!</p><p>He swiftly put his wand into his pocket and grabbed Lily by the waist with both hands, pulling her closer. He snogged her, and held on like his life depended on it. He couldn't believe this was happening. Lily Evans was kissing him and running her hands through his hair. It must be a dream or something. He pulled away slightly to talk between kisses.</p><p>"Not that I'm complaining –" he kissed her cheek. "But what –" he moved down to her jaw. "Is going on here?" he made his way to her neck and started sucking on it lightly.</p><p>Lily tilted her head back to give him better access and sighed. "No talking."</p><p>James obliged and made his way back up to Lily's mouth to continue snogging her. It could have been minutes or hours later, James wasn't sure, but they were interrupted by an annoying beeping from Lily's watch.</p><p>Lily quickly pushed James off of her and started straightening out her robes. As quickly as it had started it was over again.</p><p>"What is that? You have a snogging alarm or something?" James laughed as he ran his hand through his hair.</p><p>Lily's face was serious. "No, it's five minutes till curfew. I have to get ready for my shift tonight doing prefect rounds."</p><p>"You're doing rounds tonight? Brilliant! We can stay a little longer… it'll give the other couples longer too. It's basically community service if you think about it."</p><p>"Right, well… Not interested." Lily reached for the door to leave.</p><p>James was confused. "Wait!" he said, "Only joking. I know you'd never shirk your duties to have a snog." He chuckled then. "I knew you couldn't resist me Evans. I'm too charming."</p><p>Lily laughed. "Sod off, Potter. You wish." She reached for the door again, opened it, and started down the hallway.</p><p>"What are you doing this weekend?" He called after her. "Care for a stroll around the grounds?"</p><p>She called back over her shoulder without even turning around. "In your dreams Potter!"</p><p>He jogged to catch up and grabbed her arm, halting her movements. "Oh I'll definitely be dreaming of you tonight," he joked.</p><p>She rolled her eyes and sighed annoyed. "I'm not going out with you Potter. This meant nothing. You're still an absolute git and I still hate you. Nothing has changed. Now please, let me be."</p><p>She shrugged him off and he let go without a word. He stood speechless staring after her as she walked away until she turned the corner out of sight. What the bloody hell had just happened? He was so confused. He made his way back to Gryffindor tower only slightly after curfew and with no issues. When he walked into the common room Remus and Peter were in there playing wizard's chess; Sirius was nowhere in sight.</p><p>"Alright, James?" Peter said without really looking up from the board as James walked up to the pair.</p><p>James gave him a quick nod in greeting before sitting down.</p><p>"How was your night?" Remus asked.</p><p>James sat staring at his feet with his eyebrows knitted. "Confusing."</p><p>Remus was just about to ask what he meant when Sirius came barging through the portrait hole. "Evans just nicked me! She was so smug about it too. Seemed to be especially happy to be breaking up my evening. Probably just jealous. She could use a good snog, maybe that would calm her down a bit." With that he threw himself onto the couch next to James.</p><p>Peter laughed, as he always did when Sirius was trying to be funny. Remus shook his head, though there was a hint of a smile on his face. James opened his mouth to say something, to tell them about what happened with Lily that night and that she had, in fact, had a good snog and it didn't seem to help. He stopped though before he could say anything. Something in him wanted to keep this a secret for now. Though he would love some advice from his mates on what to do or what it all meant, he wasn't ready to share the information again just yet. Instead he just laughed and agreed with Sirius.</p><p>They sat there for a little under an hour just taking the mickey of each other, mostly joking with Peter about his poor chess skills. As Remus ended another game in victory, Peter sighed. "As fun as losing and getting made fun of is, I think I'm done for the night. I'm heading to bed."</p><p>He stood up and Remus and Sirius followed suit. They were the only four left in the common room and were all ready to go to bed in order to wake up early tomorrow for another day of classes. James, however, hesitated and stayed seated.</p><p>"You not coming?" Sirius asked him when he realized that James wasn't following them to the staircase.</p><p>"Nah, I'm not tired yet. I'm going to hang out by the fire a little longer. Wait for Evans and give her that snogging that she needs," James joked. He laughed to himself though at the honesty behind the statement. He did plan on waiting for Lily and getting to the bottom of what happened tonight.</p><p>Sirius laughed. "Good luck with that. Try not to let her kill you. The rest of term would be awfully boring."</p><p>"Good to know you care," laughed James, and Sirius started up the stairs after Remus and Peter.</p><p>James knew that he wouldn't have to wait long as Lily's rounds were set to be done soon. Indeed, it wasn't long before she entered the common room. She didn't notice him sitting by the fire, and gave a start when he spoke to get her attention before she went upstairs.</p><p>"Evening Evans."</p><p>"Goodness!" Lily shouted, her hand to her chest. "What are you doing sitting here all alone Potter? It's very creepy."</p><p>James smiled at her innocent language despite being scared. "Just waiting for you. I wanted – "</p><p>"Look," she cut him off, "I don't want to talk about tonight, okay? It's not going to happen again. It shouldn't have even happened in the first place. I don't know what I was doing."</p><p>There was a pause as she took a breath, but James didn't speak, he didn't know what to say.</p><p>"And don't tell anyone about it, alright? Not even your little friends, and especially not Black."</p><p>Another pause. James was still silent. He had thought this was going to go differently.</p><p>Lily sighed. She seemed to be getting frustrated that he wasn't responding. It wasn't like him. "I'm sorry if I confused you," she said finally. "I thought I made it clear before, however, that it meant nothing to me. You mean nothing to me. Got it?"</p><p>James flushed at that. He was embarrassed and angry. "Yeah Evans. Got it," he bit out as she walked up the stairs. Once she was gone he let out the breath that he had been holding. He wished he hadn't let himself look so vulnerable and probably desperate in front of her. He should have had a come back and ended the conversation on his own terms. He made his way up the stairs and went to bed, closing the curtains of his four-poster without a word to the others. As he fell asleep, he vowed not to be so weak again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Shaking Things Up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Days had gone by uneventfully. It had been nearly a week since James had kissed Lily in that empty classroom. He hadn't, however, made any more sense of it during that time. He chalked it up to her being hormonal or something and tried to let it go. He told himself that he was lucky. He had fancied her for years and she never had and probably never would reciprocate. He got to experience what it was like to kiss Lily Evans and he should be grateful. The problem was that the experience was better than he ever even dreamed. The rest of the marauders had always told him that even if he did get Lily to go out with him one day that she would never live up to the fantasy version of her he had made in his mind. They were wrong though. Lily hadn't just met, but exceeded expectations. Other than what she said to him afterwards, both in the hallway and in the common room later, it was perfect.</p><p>Nevertheless, she had turned him down and it was harder to take than ever before. None of the previous dismissals had deterred him at all, though, so he figured why should this one be any different. He wasn't going to stop being himself and getting on her nerves. He wasn't going to stop getting into fights with her or asking her out. Nothing was going to change.</p><p>It appeared that Lily didn't feel the same way though. She seemed to be purposely ignoring James and the rest of the marauders for that matter. She rarely hung out in the common room any more and if she was and the boys walked in she left either to her dormitory or out Merlin knows where in the castle.</p><p>Currently, the four boys were sitting under a tree down by the lake, enjoying the nice weather before the sun went down. There were so many people out on the grounds seemingly trying the same; it felt like the whole school was outside, even Lily and her dorm mates. James was lost in his own thoughts looking at her across the grounds when Sirius kicked him in the foot.</p><p>"Oi! Prongs! Stop staring at Evans and listen to me!" Sirius shouted. This earned a chuckle from a nearby group of third years and James glared at his friend.</p><p>"Shove off mate. I wasn't staring, I was just… thinking." James paused. "I was thinking that it's been much too quiet around here. We should really plan something. Shake things up."</p><p>"Funny. That's exactly what I was thinking. Moony here was trying to convince me otherwise, but I knew you'd be on my side."</p><p>The rest of the evening was spent planning out their next prank. It would be harmless, even Remus approved. It would be more like a school wide spectacle than a prank. Either way, it should be fun and scratch their itch for a little mischief. They stayed up all night preparing. The next day they would get to work setting it all up.</p><p>The next day James and Sirius skipped their afternoon classes to set everything up. It was only supposed to take one hour and they figured skipping charms wouldn't be a big deal. Both of them did fine in that class and Flitwick was a softy, he'd never give them detention. It took longer than expected, however, because they needed privacy in the great hall, which was hard to come by. They spent most of the time convincing people to leave or distracting the ones they couldn't. Eventually though, they finished and headed back to Gryffindor tower to meet up with Remus and Peter.</p><p>"What took you so long?" Peter squeaked when they walked through the portrait hole.</p><p>"Yeah. It was only supposed to take up Charms. I didn't think you guys would skive off the rest of the day!" Remus added once they had gotten closer and could talk more privately.</p><p>Sirius explained the issues that they ran into with some embellishment and a lot of enthusiasm. James laughed, but nodded along in the moments that were wholly true.</p><p>"It's all done though, and that's all that matters," Sirius finished.</p><p>"We just have to get it started and then it will be a chain reaction from there," confirmed James. He was dead tired from staying up all night and working all afternoon, but he was excited for dinner. "I figure some time during dessert would be best."</p><p>"Agreed," Remus said. "I can't believe you guys talked me into this."</p><p>"Come on Moony," Sirius taunted, "you know you love doing this with us. It's fun!"</p><p>That earned a smile from Remus, but no direct confirmation was made. Remus was the most responsible of the group, which is why he was named prefect, but he enjoyed these "good clean fun" sorts of things, which is why he landed himself in detention with the rest of them most of the time.</p><p>After a pause, Peter clapped. "This is going to be so much fun!" It seemed as though he couldn't wait and James admitted to himself that neither could he. He liked being young and carefree. He knew it wasn't going to last forever, the professors and his parents reminded him of that enough, so he liked to enjoy it while it lasted.</p><p>"What's going to be fun?" Marlene McKinnon asked from behind James and Remus. He turned around to see Lily and her dorm mates, including Marlene who had apparently overheard what Peter said. He wondered how long they had been there and how much they had overheard. Sirius and Peter weren't known for keeping a good eye out for eavesdroppers. James made a mental note to remember to sit facing out into the room from now on to avoid this happening again.</p><p>"The study session that we have planned out for tonight," answered Sirius quickly. Then his voice changed into what was supposed to be seductive perhaps? "I can always bail on them though if you have something else in mind." He was addressing Marlene. Sirius had been trying and failing to hit on Marlene since the end of third year.</p><p>"Wow Sirius," James played along. "You're just going to bail on us for a girl? After everything we've been through? I can't believe it." He feigned hurt and sighed, putting the back of his hand to his forehead and tipping his head back slightly.</p><p>This made all the girls laugh except Lily. She narrowed her eyes and looked between the four boys, landing on James. No doubt she was trying to figure out what they were up to.</p><p>James dropped the act and straightened up quickly, putting on his most charming smile. "Unless you're free tonight Evans. In which case I'll happily ditch the boys. I heard Sirius won't be there anyway."</p><p>"In you're dreams Potter," Lily replied annoyed. She began to walk away and the rest of the girls followed.</p><p>"Every night!" James called after her before turning back around to face his friends. "Well boys, you ready for some dinner?" They all got up and walked downstairs.</p><p>Dinner was good and, thankfully, went by quickly. Once the plates were cleared and dessert was served, Peter wanted to kick things off.</p><p>"Give it a minute," Sirius said. "I want to see if McGonagall is sticking around for dessert. Would be worth waiting a couple minutes if it meant she wasn't in here."</p><p>The rest nodded in agreement and all stared at McGonagall in the front, waiting to see if she was going to stay for dessert or leave. Unfortunately, they all watched as she grabbed a treat and continued talking to Slughorn.</p><p>"Looks like she's staying," Sirius sighed, "but no matter. We go on regardless. Prongs, would you like to do the honors or shall I?" As he asked, he started drawing his wand.</p><p>"Whoa, whoa, whoa," interrupted Remus. "Keep the wand under the table unless you want us to get caught."</p><p>"Oh yeah, slight change in plans. Remember those issues I was telling you about earlier? Well James did a marvelous job distracting people while I set up, but was unfortunately at the Gryffindor table doing so. I couldn't rig it up to start from under the table. We've got to shoot the sparks straight up instead."</p><p>All four marauders looked up and, to Remus' horror, could see the small fuse that they needed to trigger.</p><p>"You guys are going to be the death of me. Truly. There's no way we walk out of this unscathed. There's no way sparks shooting up from our seat and triggering bloody fireworks doesn't get traced back to us." Remus was sweating.</p><p>"No worries," Sirius calmed, "Prongs and I agreed to take the fall. Besides, we were the ones who skipped class. They have no proof that you two were involved. Prongs?"</p><p>James nodded in agreement. "Yeah. We'll take this one. And I got it Sirius, I've got the better angle I think."</p><p>"That isn't the point!" Remus whisper-screamed just as James shot red sparks out of his wand straight into the air.</p><p>All eyes from the head table and nearly all student eyes as well were on them instantly. Peter was beet red and Remus simply put his head down onto his arms on the table. The room was quiet. James and Sirius watched with everyone else as the sparks hit their mark.</p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p>McGonagall got up and was making her way over to them when suddenly a loud BANG rang out. There were a couple screams and James saw Flitwick jump so hard he fell off of his chair. McGonagall stumbled in surprise and looked up but never stopped approaching their table.</p><p>All around the room fireworks were going off. They knew to keep them small as they were indoors, but it was still louder than anticipated with multiple going off at once. All of the students and even some of the professors looked on in amazement. James and Sirius were smiling, their faces getting lit up by the flashes of fireworks around them. Suddenly, however, they were both pulled from their seats by the back of their robes and were being dragged by McGonagall down the aisle and out of the room. She must have given Remus and Peter a terrifying look because they got up and followed sheepishly without her saying a word. Around them people cheered, though those in the aisle with them didn't dare while McGonagall was next to them. They exited the room amid the sound of cheers and the grand finale going off.</p><p>Once they were outside the doors McGonagall let go of their cloaks and the four boys walked in a straight line, shoulder to shoulder, with McGonagall behind them all the way to her office. Not a word was spoken by anyone the whole way there, but the smiles remained on James' and Sirius' faces.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Detentions Aren't Meant To Be Fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a long lecture from McGonagall, Remus and Peter were free to leave for Gryffindor tower. James and Sirius had received three detentions each, to be served tonight, tomorrow, and Saturday morning. Remus and Peter only got one detention each, which was also Saturday morning. They had tried to convince McGonagall that Remus and Peter had nothing to do with it. She didn't seem convinced but she also didn't have any reason to believe otherwise. She gave them the one detention "just in case" and also gave Remus an extra guilt trip about being better as a prefect. Seeing as they were all involved, they figured they were still coming out ahead and didn't push it any further.</p><p>So, Remus and Peter set off towards the dorms taking James' and Sirius' stuff with them since the other two had to report to detention immediately.</p><p>"What timing!" McGonagall exclaimed. "Nightly detention starts immediately following dinner and goes until 15 minutes before curfew. Of course, you both already knew that."</p><p>"We timed it on purpose to make things easier for you Minnie," Sirius joked.</p><p>McGonagall smiled and turned away to hide it. There was no arguing that she was a hard-ass, perhaps most of all among the professors at Hogwarts. There was also no doubt in their minds though that she had a soft spot for the four boys. She loved all Gryffindors, of course, but especially two of the best players on her house qudditch team, the gentle werewolf who didn't deserve his fate, and the awkward boy who by all accounts shouldn't fit in with the rest of them but did.</p><p>Unfortunately, she did not favor them enough to let them serve detention together. James and Sirius were to be split up for the night into different assignments. So, Sirius headed to the trophy room to polish for the next few hours while James headed to the dungeons and the Potion room to clean cauldrons for the night.</p><p>When he got down there, Slughorn informed him that the sixth-years had brewed up some Armadillo Bile Mixture earlier that day and the cauldrons needed to be cleaned beyond what was possible during class time.</p><p>"I was just complaining to Professor McGonagall that I would be down here all night doing this myself. How nice of her to send me some assistance."</p><p>"Yes," James agreed sarcastically, "very nice." As far as punishments go, this was pretty in the middle. He hated cleaning cauldrons, but he liked Slughorn enough and would at least not be completely alone. The man always insisted on helping during detentions that he oversaw and sometimes even let them out early if the work was finished. The only other problem was that Slughorn was constantly trying to recruit James for his Slug Club. James wasn't great at potions, but he wasn't bad either. Slughorn really wanted him because he came from an old, rich, pureblood family. James could take one night of this, however, if it meant getting off early.</p><p>James got to work immediately and, as expected, Slughorn came to help and talk his ear off as soon as he was done grading papers. They continued on like that for an hour or so and were making some good progress. The conversation was even kind of interesting. They were in the middle of talking about James' favorite professional quidditch player who happened to be in the Slug Club back in the day.</p><p>"Marvelously bad at potions he was!" Slughorn laughed. "Good kid though. I always knew he was destined for great things."</p><p>"He said in an interview that he was cut from the house team twice before making it. How'd you know he was going to be so good?"</p><p>"No, no, not at quidditch. You know me, I know very little of the sport. Anyone who gets up there and plays like you is better than me in that regard. No, I just meant life. He was going to be great at something, one way or another, much like you I daresay."</p><p>Before James could respond they heard a snort. James looked up to see Lily there, clearing her throat to get Slughorn's attention and cover up her laugh at his previous comment.</p><p>"Ahh! Miss Evans! What a pleasure to see you!" Slughorn clapped and turned, seemingly forgetting about James and their task of cleaning entirely.</p><p>James rolled his eyes. Lily was one of Slughorn's favorites and everyone knew it. She was also an incredible kiss-up.</p><p>"Evening Professor. I was just hoping to talk to you about some extra work you might have for me to do. Sev and I worked together all summer like we talked about and I was hoping to finally chat about our work. I can come back another time though." Lily said the last sentence looking directly at James in amusement. Apparently she thought it was funny that he had to spend his night in detention.</p><p>At that Slughorn seemed to remember James' presence. "Sorry dear boy," he said, looking back towards James.</p><p>James gave a forced smile and went back to work without replying. Leave it to Lily to ruin a perfectly good detention. He only worked for about half an hour more before he was through, which wouldn't have been so bad if he didn't have to listen to Lily's and Slughorn's conversation the whole time.</p><p>"Sorry to interrupt Professor," he said once he was finished, "but I'm all set here and was wondering if there was anything else you needed from me."</p><p>"No, no! You've done enough tonight. Such a good lad for offering. If I let you do all my work for me I'd hardly feel like a teacher! No, you sir are free to go."</p><p>Slughorn waved him off with a flourish and James wasted no time leaving. He was at the door when he heard from behind him "Goodnees! Look at the time! I'm sorry Miss Evans, but we will have to continue our conversation another day. I do still have to prepare the ingredients for tomorrow's classes."</p><p>"Good night Professor!" Lily said sweetly as she, too, left the room right behind James.</p><p>"Get all that extra work?" James asked sarcastically once the door was closed and they were alone in the hall.</p><p>"Enjoy your detention?" she shot back.</p><p>"I did actually. Sluggie and I were having a perfectly nice night until you got there."</p><p>"Well good. Detentions aren't supposed to be fun. They are supposed to be a punishment and teach you a lesson."</p><p>"And what lesson was I supposed to learn exactly?"</p><p>"How about how to not be an outrageous git? Clearly it hasn't set in yet."</p><p>James didn't have a comeback for that, so he changed topics. "You and Sev worked on potions all summer, eh? Let me guess, his idea?"</p><p>"Yeah, so? What's that matter?"</p><p>James' smile was smug. "Oh nothing. Just guessing."</p><p>"What are you on about Potter?" She was clearly annoyed now.</p><p>"I just mean… the poor bloke's in love with you. It's painfully obvious, though you seem to be in denial. I would almost feel bad for him if he wasn't such a slimy git."</p><p>"Why are you always such an arse? Do you have to be so mean to him?"</p><p>If Lily was annoyed before, she was full on angry now. James wasn't sure why exactly, it's not like they hadn't had very similar conversations in the past. It seemed to be an especially touchy subject today. So, of course, James continued to poke.</p><p>"Maybe I wouldn't be so mean if he wasn't so interested in the dark arts."</p><p>"Shut up!" Lily pushed him in the shoulder away from her. He stumbled a bit but stood there smiling. She had stopped walking too.</p><p>"You know it's true. I don't care what he tells you, he's lying."</p><p>Lily shoved him again, this time with both hands on his chest and hard enough that his back hit the wall.</p><p>James continued. "He's a Slytherin, through and thr – "</p><p>But he was cut off before he could finish. Once again Lily was kissing him. He was just as surprised as last time, though he recovered quicker. He pulled her to him, as close as she could get, and kissed her back with just as much force as she was giving. His hands were running all over her back, she hand one hand at the base of his scalp and the other clutching his side.</p><p>After a moment he reversed their positions, flipping around so that she was pinned between him and the wall. Both of her hands were now clutching his robes at his sides and pulling him in to her. His hands went to the wall next to her head, trapping her there.</p><p>James pulled back for a breath and Lily trailed kisses across his jaw to his ear. She stopped there briefly to nibble on his ear lobe before continuing her assault down his neck. She nipped at his pulse point and he let out a groan that he was only vaguely aware actually came from him.</p><p>At the sound Lily pulled back with a gasp. James tried to reciprocate and went to kiss her neck, but she pushed him back. They were now just standing there, bodies still against one another and James' hands still framing Lily's head on the wall.</p><p>"What's going on?" James panted. "What's wrong?"</p><p>Lily shook her head lightly. "I shouldn't be doing this."</p><p>"Sure you should."</p><p>He went in for another kiss, but Lily quickly ducked down and under his arm. He was left face-to-face with the stone wall.</p><p>"I don't get it," he said confused, pushing himself off the wall to face her.</p><p>"I just needed to… relieve some tension, okay?" She seemed to be trying to convince herself more than him. She started to walk back towards Gryffindor tower. "Don't follow me. Take your own way back."</p><p>James laughed. "Anytime you need to relieve anymore tension you know where to find me!"</p><p>"Shove off! I still hate you," she called over her shoulder as she rounded the corner out of sight.</p><p>"No," James said to himself. "No, I don't think you do Evans." He smiled the whole way back to the dormitories and, indeed, took a different route than Lily, as requested.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Fake Fights, or Real Ones?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time went on and James and Lily continued whatever it was that they were doing. James wasn't actually sure what to call it if he was being honest. She wasn't his girlfriend. They were still horrible to each other publicly, possibly even worse than before. James went out of his way to make her angry knowing where it would lead. At least twice a week he would publicly pick a fight with her and then tell the boys that he needed a minute alone to cool down. Inevitably, she would find him.</p><p>It was difficult at first. They didn't really discuss things at all, so the first time he walked around for close to an hour before getting yanked into a supply closet.</p><p>"What took you so long?" he asked as they already started snogging.</p><p>"What do you mean?" she panted back, clearly not really paying attention to what he was saying.</p><p>"I've been wandering the halls for ages waiting for you."</p><p>"How'd you know – "</p><p>James chuckled. "Evans, please."</p><p>"Stop talking."</p><p>So he did.</p><p>"Next time try to be more punctual," he joked as she fixed her hair preparing to leave the closet some time later.</p><p>She rolled her eyes and pushed past him to walk away. She didn't say anything, but next time he did not have to wander for long.</p><p>The fifth time they had ended up back in the dungeons in what appeared to be an abandoned classroom. He was adjusting himself after a long snogging session, trying to make himself decent before going back out into the hall. "What is this room? I don't think I've heard of a class in here."</p><p>"It was the old potions room. Now it's used for independent research for any seventh years trying to go into healing at St. Mungo's. There aren't any this year, so Professor Slughorn offered the space to me in case I wanted to do any extra potions work in here."</p><p>James was going to comment on her doing extra work and kissing up to Slughorn, but stopped when he noticed her holding up a small key, smirking. "You mean no one else will be using this room?"</p><p>Lily nodded.</p><p>"And it's locked except for your key?"</p><p>Another nod.</p><p>"Brilliant." James' smile grew. No more questioning where to go, that would certainly save time.</p><p>They never said it out loud, but they both knew to head there every time now. It was just easier and they had no chance of getting interrupted.</p><p>A couple weeks in this started to go further than just snogging. James wasn't sure when it started, but now their sessions contained plenty of groping and grinding. He didn't really care who had made the first move to do so; he was rather pleased with the additions.</p><p>This carried them through to the end of term. James had overheard Lily telling her friends that her family's Christmas travel plans fell through and she was going to be staying at the castle. She seemed sad about the fact, which wasn't made any better by the fact that absolutely none of her dorm mates would be staying with her.</p><p>She had seemed genuinely upset, so he waited until the next day to pick a fight. That night when they met up in the dungeons he tried to talk to her about it.</p><p>"Heard about your holiday plans," he said while she was kissing his neck and unbuttoning his shirt.</p><p>"No talking," she chided.</p><p>"I'm meant to go home, but I can tell my parents I'm staying. They won't mind."</p><p>"I don't want to hear about your parents right now."</p><p>"Fair enough. The marauders will all be gone as well."</p><p>"Don't care," she sighed.</p><p>"We won't even have to stage our fights as an excuse to break away from everyone."</p><p>At that Lily finally broke away. "What are you on about?" She was clearly annoyed.</p><p>"I'm just saying that with your girls and my boys all gone and you needing to stay, I can stay as well to keep you company and we won't have to worry about sneaking around."</p><p>She didn't say anything right away. She looked confused, but in a way that she seemed to be figuring out what to say first.</p><p>"Obviously we would still be discreet," James continued quickly, now nervous that he had said something wrong. "I just mean that we won't have to fake fights really."</p><p>"What do you mean fake fights? They aren't fake."</p><p>Now it was James' turn to be confused. "Well of course they are… I pick a fight to rile you up and then we come down here. It's our thing!" He threw on what he hoped was a winning smile.</p><p>"Maybe you're faking the fight, but I'm not. You do genuinely drive me mad."</p><p>James chuckled before he realized that she didn't seem to be joking.</p><p>Lily continued. "Look Potter. I don't know what you think this is, but the only reason I'm down here is because I'm angry with you all the time and this is the only thing that I've found works to calm down. I'd be much happier not interacting at all, but as long as you keep riling me up I need a way to cool down. I can go back to hexing you if you'd like."</p><p>James' face fell for a moment before righting it. He didn't want her to see how disappointed he was. He had known that that was how this started, but thought that things had changed somewhere along the way for her. They had for him. "Right, my mistake. Poor choice of words," he tried to play it off.</p><p>"I think I'm good for the night." She put her cloak back on and made to leave. "Happy Christmas," she said on her way out of the door. James was still leaning against the table with his shirt opened.</p><p>"Happy Christmas," he scoffed at the closed door.</p><p>The next day was the first day of Christmas Holidays, and James got on the train with his friends to go home for the next few weeks. It was a good thing he had, because Sirius had a falling out with his parents a few days in and spent the rest of break at the Potter mansion.</p><p>"You know you're always welcome here dear," James' mother had told Sirius when he arrived. "Stay as long as you need."</p><p>"Thanks Mum," Sirius replied, "I'll stay through break if that's alright."</p><p>"Of course! You know Fleamont and I would be happy to take you permanently if you'd like. Whatever you need, whenever you need us."</p><p>This wasn't the first time James' parents had offered for Sirius to move in with them. Things were bad at home for him and only getting worse. James wasn't sure what it would take for Sirius to finally take them up on the offer. He knew how proud his best mate was though and didn't want to push the matter. For now he was staying for Christmas and that was good enough.</p><p>"This animagi thing has been brilliant, don't you think?" Sirius said to him one night while they were hanging out in James' room. They had finally made the transformations last summer and started attending full moons with Remus the previous semester.</p><p>"Yeah. Moony does seem to come off the full moons better now that we are there with him," James replied.</p><p>"And it's wicked fun!"</p><p>James smiled. "I agree, though you probably shouldn't be too excited about it in front of Moony. I doubt it's as fun for him as it is for us."</p><p>"Right," Sirius said, looking down a little.</p><p>"Or in front of Wormtail for that matter. I think he's still a bit miffed that he ended up as a rat," James laughed, lightening the mood again. He hadn't meant to chastise Sirius before.</p><p>Sirius laughed as well. "I supposed the nickname isn't helping matters much."</p><p>They fell into a comfortable silence. James smiled. He missed this. It's not like he never hung out with the marauders, but he spent an awful lot of time with Evans this semester, which seriously impeded guy time.</p><p>"I feel like it's been awhile since we did this," Sirius said finally, as if reading James' mind. "Just sat and hung out I mean, especially just the two of us."</p><p>"Yeah," James agreed. He didn't want to talk about it actually because he wasn't sure what he would say if Sirius pushed him on where he was always off to.</p><p>"I feel bad."</p><p>"Why's that Pads?"</p><p>"I feel like it's my fault." He actually looked guilty. "I've been really active with birds this semester. I didn't mean for it to take up so much of my time."</p><p>James was shocked. He knew, of course, that Sirius spent his time entertaining "dates", but he didn't realize it was to this extent. He felt bad that Sirius was taking all the blame. "Well, you can't help it if you're irresistible, right?" The seriousness was gone.</p><p>Sirius perked up instantly. "That's right. It's really not my fault. Besides, you've been busy with Evans."</p><p>James sputtered. "What do you mean?"</p><p>"She's been a real pain in the arse lately, no? More so than usual even. I feel like you two are fighting all the time!"</p><p>"Right, yeah."</p><p>"And you started going on those walks to clear your head… we should really find you some company for that time." Sirius wagged his eyebrows. "Do a little less walking if you know what I mean."</p><p>James threw a pillow at his friend and laughed. Sirius had no idea how close to the truth he really was. James stopped laughing though, thinking about his last conversation with Lily in the research lab.</p><p>He had no right to be angry; he knew that. She had been upfront with him about her feelings towards him and their meetings. He shouldn't have assumed otherwise. That didn't change anything though. He was angry.</p><p>Just then he decided that he didn't want to continue Lily's game. He would stop picking fake fights and she would need to find a new way to cool down. The thought made him a little sad but he pushed that away. "Don't worry," he said finally, "I plan on fixing that this semester. No more fighting with Evans and no cool-downer walks. She's wasted enough of my time as it is."</p><p>"That's my boy! You know I've said for years that you really need to get over that girl. Glad you're finally coming to your senses."</p><p>Sirius continued, talking about new girls that James might fancy "giving a try" as he put it. James wasn't really interested, but he let his friend go on anyway.</p><p>After that, they enjoyed Christmas and the rest of break. They saw Remus and Peter a few times, but mostly just hung out at the Potter mansion. They didn't want to go back to school, but James was at least ready to have a Lily-free semester. As much as possible at least.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Stink Bombs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Upon getting back from Christmas holidays, it was still James' plan to avoid Lily as much as possible. He thought that would be easiest; a clean break. They were coming off a two week hiatus from break anyway, so this should be easy. The first day of classes he didn't talk to her at all. It was fairly easy since she wasn't exactly seeking him out. A week in and there had been no incidents.</p><p>James appreciated the current state of things. He could admit to himself that he missed his trysts with Lily. He's just a man for Merlin's sake, and she's the girl he's fancied forever. He convinced himself that he was fine with it being over though because he was spending more time with the marauders again. He was going back to his old self. Unfortunately, his old self was prone to getting into trouble with his mates.</p><p>"Oh man!" exclaimed Peter as they all were sat in their dormitory. It was the first Saturday of term and they were laying around after breakfast thinking of things to do that weekend. "I can't believe I forgot!" He got up and started rummaging through his truck at the foot of his bed.</p><p>"What he on about?" Sirius asked towards Remus, but Remus just gave a shrug.</p><p>"My muggle cousin gave me these for Christmas." Peter pulled a few strange looking balls from his trunk looking excited.</p><p>"Marvelous!" cried James. "What are they?"</p><p>"They're stink bombs," Peter answered.</p><p>Remus groaned.</p><p>"Not sure what that is, but I like the sound of it," smirked Sirius. "Especially since Moony seems a bit put off."</p><p>Everyone looked at Remus. "Why?" he said, looking directly at Peter. "Why'd you need to bring those? As if we aren't destructive enough you have to introduce them to muggle pranks?"</p><p>"Moony! I can't believe that you would intentionally hold out on us," Sirius cried.</p><p>"Yeah," interjected James, "do you hate our antics that much?"</p><p>"I told you that I was trying to stay under the radar from now on since I'm a prefect. Especially after the fireworks last semester! I just got to the point that I don't feel guilty every time I look McGonagall in the eye. Why do you have to go and ruin that?"</p><p>"If you don't feel guilty for anything that means it's the perfect time to pull something. We're overdue in fact," Sirius reasoned.</p><p>"I was so excited all break," squeaked Peter. "Figured it would be a nice kick off to the term."</p><p>"Right you are!" James smiled. "Now, how do they work?"</p><p>Peter got on explaining the contraptions and the different things they could do with them. Even Remus participated in brainstorming ideas. He always was a sucker for a good prank, no matter what he said. They also needed him to be the voice of reason. Things tended to get out of control when the rest of them were in charge and getting excited.</p><p>"I say we go with Wormtail's suggestion for the first one." James was putting in his vote. "They are his after all."</p><p>"Fair point," Sirius agreed. "It's a good plan, anyway. Big enough to be fun, but small enough to let us learn how they work and get us warmed up."</p><p>Peter was beaming. He loved it when the others liked his suggestions.</p><p>They all looked to Remus for the final vote. "Alright," he sighed. "I suppose it won't cause too much harm. Let's do it." He smiled.</p><p>The rest of the marauders cheered. The plan was set. They all got up. Peter grabbed two of the stink bombs and James grabbed the map.</p><p>"We don't want to do Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, right? That seems like more trouble than it's worth." James had opened the map and started looking it over.</p><p>The other three all grunted their agreement.</p><p>"Looks like the girls' bathroom on the fourth floor is empty right now. Want to go for that one?"</p><p>"Brilliant!" exclaimed Sirius, and they were off.</p><p>They made their way to the fourth floor girls' bathroom. They had stopped a few times to talk to people that they saw along the way. They wanted to seem as though they were just wondering aimlessly. Eventually though they reached their destination.</p><p>They were outside the bathroom and no one was insight in the hall. James took the map out to check inside. "Coast is clear. You're on wormtail!"</p><p>Peter giggled excitedly and slipped into the bathroom. The others stayed outside and kept watch. Luckily it wasn't until Peter had come back out and the four marauders were walking away that someone rounded the corner. It was a Hufflepuff girl who looked to be around third year. They passed her in the hallway then discretely turned around to watch her turn into the bathroom.</p><p>"Showtime," Sirius smiled.</p><p>They rounded back around and hid behind a statue in the corner opposite the bathroom door. They tried to hide at least.</p><p>"We should have thought of this sooner and gone with the bathroom by the passage behind the tapestry upstairs. We would have all fit there!" cried James.</p><p>"Well it's too late for that now!" Remus chided. "You all were too excited to do this to give it any more thinking time."</p><p>"Don't 'you all' us Moony," said Sirius, "you're in this too. You were excited, don't lie."</p><p>Remus didn't answer, proving Sirius had a point.</p><p>"Hiding isn't going to work, we may as well just come out and act natural," James suggested.</p><p>They did just that. They all came out and moved a couple feet down the hall so that they weren't directly in front of the door. James and Sirius leaned casually against the wall while Remus and Peter stood facing them.</p><p>"I feel a bit bad that this is going to happen to someone so young," Remus said once they were settled. "I guess I imagined that it would be someone our age."</p><p>"I only put the stink bombs under two of the toilet seats. Maybe she'll use one of the other stalls," Peter said, trying to cheer him up.</p><p>James was about to ask what they were going to do if that happened and they needed to wait for another victim when he saw none other than Lily Evans walk around the corner.</p><p>"Oh bollocks. Act cool boys," he said quickly. Then, "Evans! How are you doing on this fine afternoon?"</p><p>"What are you four doing here?" she asked, completely ignoring the question.</p><p>"Just hanging out," answered Sirius. "Enjoying the view of girls walking by."</p><p>"Pig," she muttered.</p><p>"Speaking of which," James added, "Hogsmead is coming up. Care to join me Evans? I'll show you a good time."</p><p>Sirius and Peter chuckled at that. Lily opened her mouth to respond but stopped when the bathroom door flew open and the Hufflepuff girl rushed out coughing and with tears in her eyes. Lily gave her a confused expression, but then suddenly her face changed to one of disgust and confusion. Soon after the four boys caught the sent as well; one of the bombs had definitely gone off.</p><p>"It wasn't me!" cried the girl. "I swear!" She ran off before anyone else could get a word in.</p><p>The boys were all trying not to laugh. The smell was horrendous, and the reaction was exactly what they had expected. Lily rounded on them.</p><p>"What did you do?" she screamed.</p><p>"What makes you think we did anything?" Sirius tried to play innocent. It didn't work.</p><p>"Come off it. I knew you guys looked suspicious when I walked up." Her eyes were beginning to water from the scent. It was really pungent.</p><p>James knew that they weren't going to convince her that they had nothing to do with it. There was no point in even trying. "Come on Evans, it was fun. No one got hurt."</p><p>"Tell that to the girl you just scarred!"</p><p>"She was embarrassed. No big deal. It's not like anyone was actually around to see. We aren't going to go spreading rumors that she blew up the bathroom."</p><p>"She doesn't know that! It might seem silly to you, but probably not to her. You never think about consequences."</p><p>"That's not true," interjected Sirius. "We always weigh the pros and cons to see if it's worth the detentions."</p><p>"That's not what I mean. You don't care who you hurt along the way as long as you get your laugh."</p><p>"That's a little harsh," James said. He was starting to get annoyed at her always trying to make them out to be bad guys.</p><p>"You have no regard for anyone but yourself."</p><p>"We were just fooling around! I know it might seem like a foreign concept to you Evans, but some of us know how to have fun. Go out with me? I'll show you how to have a good time."</p><p>She narrowed her eyes and growled, actually growled at them.</p><p>"Lighten up a little, will ya? Do us all the favor," James added.</p><p>"Sorry that I'm mature and don't need to pull childish pranks to have fun. Grow up Potter." Lily shook her head and walked away. They heard her murmuring "git" to herself as she left.</p><p>"Well that went well," Remus joked after a moment.</p><p>"She won't do anything," assured James, "don't worry about it."</p><p>"She seemed to be all focused on you Prongs. Didn't even come after Moony here for being a better prefect," Sirius pointed out.</p><p>"What else is new? She's always hated me most." James tried to brush it off. Truth was that Sirius had a bit of a point. While he and Lily had always been the ones to butt heads the most, she didn't usually shy away from dragging the others into the mess.</p><p>"True," Peter agreed, and everyone seemed to accept the answer. He gave a small mischievous smile. "So… where should we hit next?"</p><p>"Wormy, I love where your mind is at!" Sirius smiled as he put his arm around Peter's shoulders and started walking them away, talking about future plans for their new toys.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Lazy Sunday Mornings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That night, the marauders were hanging out in the common room talking and joking around. They were reminiscing on some of their favorite pranks over the last few years, feeling particularly giddy after the good day that they had had.</p><p>Sirius was in the middle of telling his favorite story from first year when James looked up to see the portrait hole swing open and Lily Evans storm into the room. She looked miffed. She hesitated when she caught sight of James sitting there and he thought for a second that she was going to come over to him. She didn't though, instead heading straight upstairs bypassing even her dorm mates. James looked around to see if the others had noticed, but they were all laughing at Sirius' theatrics. He started laughing along as if he had been listening.</p><p>"And that's when I knew we would be mates for life," Sirius finished. He always was a sap like that, though he would never admit it.</p><p>Peter dabbed at his eyes; he was crying from laughing so hard. "Ooo, remember in third year – " He couldn't talk anymore he was laughing too much.</p><p>"Oh boy," Remus smiled, knowing exactly what story he was talking about and how much Sirius loved retelling it.</p><p>Sirius smirked as well. He got to his feet, apparently needing more room to reenact this particular set of events.</p><p>James sat back and watched the show, laughing at his friend's antics and thinking about how happy he was to be here with them.</p><p>They went on like this late into the night, taking turns praising and making fun of each other before eventually heading up to bed.</p><p>The next morning James woke up unusually early for a Sunday. It wasn't early per se; he was sure that there were others up and about, but it was earlier than normal for him and he was the first one up in the dorm. He tried to fall back asleep but it was no use. Not wanting to wake his friends up tossing and turning in bed, he threw some pajama pants and a sweatshirt on and padded downstairs.</p><p>The sixth year girls were all up and having a conversation on the couches. James felt a little weird about sitting alone doing nothing and seemingly eavesdropping on their conversation, so he kept walking out of the portrait hole and into the halls of the castle. He preferred quiet in the morning anyway and wouldn't mind the lonely walk.</p><p>He thought briefly about heading to the kitchens for a bite, but thought he may as well wait for the others to wake up and go together to breakfast. So, he wandered the castle aimlessly. He was mostly staring at his feet as he shuffled along, lost in thought. He heard a door open ahead of him and looked up. He wasn't aware of anyone being around him before, but there was no one in sight now. Seeing a door ajar a few meters up he walked towards it curiously. As he went to look, he got pulled inside by the collar of his sweatshirt.</p><p>He had his wand out instantly, but lowered it again when he saw who attacked him.</p><p>"Well this is some serious déjà vu," he said to Lily, thinking about the first time she pulled him into an empty classroom.</p><p>"What the hell Potter?" she said angrily.</p><p>"Shouldn't I be asking you that? You're the one who pulled me in here."</p><p>"I was in the dungeons for two hours last night. Your lucky I had my books with me and got some studying done."</p><p>"Good for you." James obviously knew what she was talking about, but played dumb. They had gotten in a fight yesterday, a real one at that, and he hadn't gone downstairs. Apparently she had though.</p><p>"Where were you?" she gritted out.</p><p>"Sorry Evans. Guess you were more heated after that argument than I was. Didn't feel the need to have a calm-down. Hopefully you were able to take care of yourself."</p><p>She pulled a face. "You're such a pig."</p><p>James feigned shocked innocence. "Evans! You've such a dirty mind!"</p><p>"Sod off Potter." She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Truly. I didn't mean… You play innocent, but I know the truth."</p><p>"Shut up!"</p><p>James smirked.</p><p>"And wipe that smirk off your face!" Lily continued.</p><p>"Apparently you didn't. Take care of yourself that is. You seem tense Evans."</p><p>"Oh, now you want –?"</p><p>He cut her off with a kiss. She always looked so cute when she was angry and he couldn't help himself. He told himself that he was going to be done and was going to stay away from her, but who was he kidding. He was James Potter and she was Lily Evans. He wouldn't be himself if he wasn't chasing her.</p><p>She got over her surprise and started kissing him back. It quickly accelerated into a full on snog session, then further. They were right back to where they had been before Christmas holidays.</p><p>"Mmm, stop," James said gently a while later, "otherwise there's going to be a mess for us to clean up."</p><p>Lily pulled back. She blushed as she caught his meaning and did as he asked. James swore he saw a look of pride on her face, but it was gone quickly.</p><p>"Not that I would mind necessarily," James added as they righted themselves. "Just thought, if anything, we'd save that for a room that actually locks." He nodded towards the door.</p><p>Lily looked horrified as she suddenly remembered where they were. "Oh Merlin. We could have gotten caught!"</p><p>"Calm down Evans. No one was going to walk in here."</p><p>"You don't know that. How could I be so stupid?"</p><p>"It's early on a Sunday morning. No one is looking for a homework spot yet and very few are looking for a place to do what we just did." He winked at her.</p><p>She sighed, seeming to accept his reasoning. "Fine, but we have to be more careful from now on. Only use our room downstairs."</p><p>He mentally noted that she called it 'their' room and that she was talking about it as if she was planning on having more in the future. James knew, obviously, that that was the case. To his knowledge, Lily had never used the research lab for anything else. He was also thinking about this thing of theirs continuing on, but it was an unspoken agreement between the two of them. They had never been so direct before. In fact, any time that James had tried to be more direct Lily lashed out. So, he decided not to comment on it and simply gave her a nod in understanding.</p><p>They left the room and went their separate ways without another word. James headed back to the dorms for a cold shower and then to rally the rest of the marauders for breakfast. He was hungry after the events of his morning.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Close Call</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James couldn't keep the promise he made to himself about staying away from Lily. Had barely tried, really, if he was being honest with himself. He had adjusted it now though to be a bit more reasonable. He would try to avoid picking so many fights with her. They fought plenty just from him being himself, it wasn't like there would be a lack. Perhaps, James thought, he would be a little less agreeable and a little more obvious to make sure she caught him, but he didn't figure that was breaking his rules.</p><p>Indeed it didn't take long for an argument to come up naturally. One night that week, Lily had walked in on him and Sirius talking to a group of first years about the Forbidden Forest. They were just telling them about the acromantula nest when she stopped them.</p><p>"What do you two think you're doing?" she hissed before turning her attention to the kids. "They're just trying to scare you. I'm sure half the stuff the said isn't even true."</p><p>"Only half?" one cried, still horrified.</p><p>"Yeah. Which half?" asked another, clearly scared but trying to appear brave.</p><p>Lily responded calmly. "It doesn't matter. Everything in the forest stays there, so you'd have to go in for it to hurt you. You'll only have to go in for a really nasty detention. As long as you all behave you'll be perfectly safe."</p><p>Most of them visibly calmed. They all got up to go upstairs. It was a bit early for bed, but they probably didn't want to be in the middle of what was about to follow.</p><p>"I hate spiders," they heard one say to his friend.</p><p>His friend shook his head in agreement. "Yeah. Remind me not to get any detentions, yeah?"</p><p>Sirius groaned. "Leave it to you to turn a perfectly good story time into a PSA on following school rules."</p><p>"Yeah Evans." James' voice turned teasing. "Do you want them all to turn out like you or something? They can't all be named prefect you know. There's probably going to be a huge fight over it in four years time. You've broken up a friendship you have."</p><p>"Pity…" Sirius tsk-tsked in agreement.</p><p>"Well it's better than them turning out like you. Then they'd fight over who can get the most detentions or lose the most house points."</p><p>"Don't forget bag the most birds!" Sirius added.</p><p>James winced, but collected himself quickly.</p><p>"Classy," Lily said sarcastically, looking at James.</p><p>He wanted to defend himself and say that Sirius had said it, not him, but he didn't want to alert Sirius to anything going on between him and Lily. Besides, everyone knew James and Sirius were a packaged deal and they backed each other 100% all the time. There was no going against that now, so he stood his ground and took Lily's glare.</p><p>She seemed to get angrier when he didn't respond. She shook her head. "You're both pigs with no respect for women, but that's not exactly new information."</p><p>It wasn't the first time they had heard that line, but somehow it landed differently to James now than it did before.</p><p>Lily kept going. "You both can be gits as much as you fancy, but why do you have to bring the first years into it? No one else willing to listen to you anymore?"</p><p>Sirius scoffed.</p><p>"I could entertain you with some stories if you go out with me Evans." James said smoothly. "That way I won't have to bother the poor firsties."</p><p>Lily ignored his comment. "They're probably all going to have nightmares tonight because of you."</p><p>"They're Gryffindors!" James reasoned. "They're braver than that."</p><p>"They're 11! And not everyone is their house traits all the time. You two, for example, aren't exactly chivalrous. Scaring first years for your own amusement…" She trailed off in a huff.</p><p>That was a low blow. Lily knew that James was a proud Gryffindor and considered it among the highest honors. He was glaring at her trying to think of a comeback when Remus walked downstairs.</p><p>"Hey guys," he said nervously. "How's it going?"</p><p>"Peachy," Lily screamed. She turned and stormed out the portrait hole, but not before giving James a look. It was so quick that he almost missed it, but he knew what it meant. Downstairs. Now.</p><p>"As she said," Sirius chuckled once she was gone. "Where are you off to so close to curfew?"</p><p>"I've prefect rounds tonight," Remus answered.</p><p>"Brilliant. Do make sure to nick Evans if she doesn't get back in time. That would really make my day."</p><p>Remus didn't reply. "I've got to go. Hopefully it's a boring night."</p><p>"I'm tucking in early Moony, so no troubles from me," promised Sirius. He looked at James then, who had been silent since Remus came down. "You coming up?"</p><p>Remus gave them a wave goodbye and walked away.</p><p>"Not just yet," James responded. "I think I might pop down to the kitchens real quick for a bite. Didn't eat enough at dinner I recon."</p><p>Sirius looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. James hoped that his friend couldn't see through the lie. Then he realized that Sirius was probably just contemplating coming with; he had a serious sweet tooth and loved going to the kitchens. James hoped he didn't want to tag along. He should have thought of a better excuse.</p><p>"Sounds fun," said Sirius. "I'll join you if you want company, though I'm dead tired. Late night last night." He wagged his eyebrows.</p><p>James rolled his eyes. "Go on, get your beauty sleep. I'll be fine alone." Inwardly he sighed.</p><p>They parted ways, Sirius heading up the stairs and James heading out into the castle and hurrying down to the dungeons.</p><p>He made it and Lily was inside waiting for him.</p><p>"Fancy meeting you here," he joked.</p><p>"Oh?" she joked back. "Expecting someone else, were you? A different girl perhaps? Tell me Potter, is all this time with me bringing down your count in the competition with Black?"</p><p>"Is that jealousy I hear in your voice Evans?"</p><p>"You must be hearing things." She was right up on him now. Her hands were on his chest and she was pushing his cloak off his shoulders onto the floor.</p><p>"Well, even so… you have nothing to worry about. You know you're the only bird for me." He smiled wide, but he was nervous on the inside. He had said that without really thinking about it. It was painfully true, though he wasn't sure how Lily would react to it.</p><p>Luckily he had asked her out and confessed his love to her enough in the past that it didn't seem to faze her and she took it like a joke as always. "Bugger off," she groaned, pushing him backwards into a chair and straddling his lap.</p><p>There was no more talking then as they fell into each other. All that could be heard was the sound of their breathing and fabric rubbing together. After a couple minutes there was the sound of James' zipper being dragged down and the door handle jiggling.</p><p>The door handle jiggling?</p><p>James pulled away from the kiss and put his hand on Lily's to stop her movements. "Do you hear that?" he whispered.</p><p>"What?" she started to ask when the handle jiggled again. She heard it that time and her eyes went wide. She jumped up and started smoothing down hair and her robes.</p><p>"Good thing the thing's a bloody nightmare to open," James said as he too tried to straighten himself up.</p><p>"Shush! And hide!"</p><p>James had just enough time to duck behind a table when he heard the door finally open.</p><p>"Oh!" he heard Lily squeak. "You scared me. What are you doing here?"</p><p>Her voice seemed pleasant enough, though James could tell she was exasperated. She wasn't overly surprised though. His mind jumped to the worst case immediately. Was there someone else that she came here with?</p><p>"Didn't mean to scare you," the voice said. James recognized it instantly as Severus Snape. He felt nauseous thinking about Lily and Snape being together in here.</p><p>"Slughorn gave me a key last week," Snape continued. "He mentioned that he had given you the other one last semester and that you might be down here doing some work. Why didn't you tell me?"</p><p>"Sorry Sev," answered Lily. "I would have, but I never actually started any potions work. I've mostly been using the room as a secret study spot for OWLs. It's quiet and I can actually be alone unlike anywhere else."</p><p>"I thought you loved the library?"</p><p>"I do, just sometimes want to make sure there's no chance of interruption, you know."</p><p>James let out a breath. This was dreadfully boring, but at least it was clear that Snape had no idea about this room before and, more importantly, had never been here with Lily.</p><p>"Yeah, I…" Snape trailed off. "What's that?"</p><p>"Oh!" Lily squeaked. "Uhh, that's… Marlene's!"</p><p>"What's Marlene's cloak doing down here? I thought you said you only ever came here alone."</p><p>James paled in his position behind the desk. He'd forgotten to pick his cloak up off the ground.</p><p>"I did. I do! Um, I borrowed it. Yeah. It get's cold in the dungeons, you know? So I bring an extra cloak just in case. Marlene doesn't like wearing hers so…"</p><p>It wasn't a great story, and she stumbled her way through it. Not to mention the fact that the cloak was clearly too big to be Marlene's, that would be obvious if Snape picked it up for some reason.</p><p>"Right… well what are you studying? Mind if I join?"</p><p>James groaned softly. The git believed the story, but now he wanted to stay. He would be crouched back here forever.</p><p>"Oh, uh," Lily paused. Neither of them had brought any books down. "I'm not studying actually. I was just here to… to grab the cloak!" James could hear her grab it off the ground and quickly ball it up in her arms. "I forgot it down here earlier. I was just going to leave though."</p><p>"Alright." Snape sounded a bit disappointed. "I was heading to my dormitory anyway, just thought I check the room out on the way."</p><p>James heard the door open and close, then heard a muffled "goodnight" from both of them through the door. He was grateful that Snape hadn't wanted to stay without Lily. James wasn't sure what he would have done then.</p><p>He waited a bit to let them get away from the room before he tried to leave. Just as he was getting up from his position he heard the door open again and he crouched back down.</p><p>"It's me," Lily whispered.</p><p>James popped back up and she jumped a bit.</p><p>"Wasn't sure you were coming back," James smiled. "That was a close one."</p><p>"Too close."</p><p>"Looks like this room isn't private anymore."</p><p>"I'll talk to Sev. He respects my study habits and won't come down here if he knows I'm here trying to study alone. I'll just start actually doing some potions work in here with him sometimes to make up for it. No big deal."</p><p>James wanted to comment on her trust in Snape but pushed it aside. "Evans, you are full of surprises tonight. Who knew you were such an avid liar and capable of such plots?"</p><p>She rolled her eyes and threw his cloak back at him. "You must be rubbing off on me."</p><p>James opened his mouth to comment, but Lily cut him off. "Don't! I don't want to hear whatever came to your mind. I hate you."</p><p>There wasn't any real heat behind her statement so James just smiled. They walked back to Gryffindor tower together for the first time since this thing between them had started, though it was mostly in silence. Lily hadn't made any attempt at a conversation and James was too afraid that he would say something to ruin the friendly mood in the air.</p><p>Just before they went up their separate staircases James said a quick goodnight that Lily didn't reciprocate. James didn't mind, in fact he barely noticed. He was suddenly dead tired, no doubt exhausted by the adrenaline rush of nearly getting caught, and couldn't really think of anything other than his soft bed waiting for him upstairs. He was asleep within seconds of hitting the mattress.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Musings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was nearly the end of term. They had OWLs to worry about, but summer was in their sights. He knew that most of his fellow fifth years wouldn't necessarily agree, but to James, this was the best year yet at Hogwarts. Him and his mates had finally been able to join Remus for full moons after completing their animagi transformations, Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup, and there was Lily of course.</p><p>They had kept this thing of theirs up, much to James' surprise and excitement. He thought for sure that she would end it at some point, likely as quickly as she had started it. That hadn't happened though. They had a roughly twice per week average, not like James had been counting or anything. The boys had commented on the fact that he and lily seemed to be fighting more than ever. He brushed it off, thankful that they hadn't also noticed that the fights were frequently absurd in the fact that they sometimes came out of nowhere, were about nothing in particular, and just generally didn't make sense.</p><p>Amid the fake fights were real ones as well however. He was still James Potter after all and she still Lily Evans; it was just in their nature. One particularly bad fight had been about Snape. James and Sirius had hexed him and he, apparently, ran to tell Lily all about it. She had crossed their path in the halls the next day and shouted at them seemingly angrier than ever before.</p><p>James gave back as good as he got, as always, along with Sirius, but in the back of his mind he wondered if their rendezvous that night would be different somehow because of the elevated anger. He needn't worry though. It was, in fact, different, but delightfully so. It was hands-down the best night of James' life. They hadn't done anything strictly new, but it was more intense than ever.</p><p>Coming off her high from that tryst she was noticeably calmer. He was feeling rather cocky and decided to try his luck and jest a bit.</p><p>"That was marvelous," he complimented.</p><p>Lily hummed in agreement.</p><p>"I'm sure Snivellus would love to hear how passionate you were about defending his honor." James laughed.</p><p>"Stop," she warned.</p><p>"No, really. If that's my punishment then I should really hex him more often."</p><p>This had done it. She ended up shouting at him, angry all over again. Fortunately for James, it ended in a round two that nearly rivaled the first of the night.</p><p>James often thought about how he ended up where he was. He had been snogging the girl of his dreams for the entire school year. Sure, they weren't dating, he couldn't tell his mates, he had to argue with her to initiate anything, and she told him she hated him nine out of ten times they met up… but that didn't matter! He was still thrilled over the difference between where they were now and where they were this time last year. It made him hopeful for where they could be this time next year.</p><p>He was excited for summer and the end of classes like anyone else, but there was a part of him that was sad too that he wouldn't see Lily all summer. He tried to remind himself that he survived without her before, but it was hard. It had been a while since he needed to. The longest time between fights this past semester was a week. He wondered what a few months would do to him. He worried a little that she wouldn't want to continue when they came back for sixth year. Mostly though, he wondered if she was thinking about the same things.</p><p>It was the night before the last OWLs. The marauders were in the common room studying, or at least trying to. The other students who didn't have tests the next day weren't exactly making it easy, but Sirius only agreed to study at all if they promised not to make him go to the library. James was frustrated. He didn't know how much longer he could sit here. He wished it was just tomorrow already and this could all be over with. He had said as much to his friends twice in the last hour.</p><p>"We can take a break soon," Remus suggested. "But finish what you're doing first."</p><p>"Yes mum," Sirius teased.</p><p>Suddenly he heard Lily's voice "Such a git," she said as she walked past them from the staircase towards the portrait hole. She hadn't even paused her movement.</p><p>"Who's a git?" Peter asked, apparently the only one brave enough or maybe stupid enough to do so.</p><p>"Potter of course," she said simply. Still she hadn't stopped walking; she was nearly at the portrait hole.</p><p>"Well that was odd," commented Remus quietly.</p><p>"I think it's time for my break," James said, sounding angry. "What is her problem?"</p><p>He got up and started walking after her. "Oi! Evans!" he cried, "What is your problem?" Then they were both outside in the hall and the fat lady closed behind him. No one else was around.</p><p>She hadn't said anything and he was about to ask her again when she said lowly, "Come on!" and kept walking.</p><p>James hesitated, but quickly recovered. Usually he initiated fights. She did, but only ever after he did something that she found worth yelling at him for. This was the first time that Lily had really initiated a "fight", if you could even call it that. For that matter, this was the first time they had gone to the dungeons without fighting before hand.</p><p>James thought back to his earlier musings. She clearly didn't want him to relieve any anger, so what was going on? Was it possible that she just wanted him, period? He hadn't planned on talking to her about any of his thoughts regarding summer or next year, afraid of scaring her off, but maybe he would bring it up now. He'd play it by ear.</p><p>Before the door was even latched behind them she was on him. They wasted no time falling into each other. Afterwards, she seemed to still be in a rush, though not as much as before.</p><p>"Somewhere you need to be Evans?" James asked.</p><p>"Just want to get back to keep studying. Only was supposed to take a short break."</p><p>"Right. I have to ask. We haven't argued. I mean, you didn't seem angry…"</p><p>"Was there a question in there?"</p><p>"Just that if you're not here to let out any anger, then what exactly are you here for? Not that I'm complaining!" he added hastily after seeing her shocked expression at his question. He wasn't complaining. In fact, he felt foolish for asking at all and not just being grateful.</p><p>"The Defense OWL is tomorrow," she answered simply, as if that explained anything. He didn't know where to go from there, but luckily she went on. "And I've been a good bit stressed! There is some muggle research out there that shows that relieving stress is just as good or even better before a test than cramming more information in last minute."</p><p>"Well, we are in a research lab."</p><p>"Clever," Lily said sarcastically. "Anyway, I've got to be off back to the dormitory so I can get all three in tonight." She left the room ahead of James, apparently not caring if they walked back to Gryffindor tower together or not.</p><p>James jogged to catch up. He still hadn't talked to her about summer or next year. Actually, he still hadn't decided if he was going to or not. He tried to beat around the bush a bit and see what he could get out of her without revealing too many cards.</p><p>"So, plans for the summer?" he asked casually.</p><p>"Not really," she shrugged. "Just going home, nothing too exciting. My sister has been dreadful the last few summers, so I spend most of my time with Sev."</p><p>There was a pause. "It's not too bad," she finished just as he quipped "Sorry to hear that."</p><p>He was sorry to hear about her sister being so horrible, though he had said it as a joke about having to spend time with Snape. Truth be told, he hadn't realized she even had a sister. Despite their apparent tensions, he was jealous. He had always wanted a sibling. He figured Sirius was close enough though now. Growing up, he thought that a sibling would be great because they would be a built in friend that nothing could ever break. He had that with Sirius, and now realized based on Lily's situation that that wasn't necessarily even true.</p><p>"Sorry to hear that," he said again, more seriously this time.</p><p>She shrugged.</p><p>They walked in silence a while longer before James broke it again. "Excited for next year? NEWT classes and all that?"</p><p>She gave him a funny look. "Next year? We haven't even fully finished this one yet! I didn't know you were one to plan so far ahead and look forward to school."</p><p>"Well," he started, but he wasn't sure where he was going to go with it. She had stopped walking though, so he stopped too.</p><p>"Look," she said, eyebrows furrowed, "I know what you're thinking and what you're really asking, but I don't have an answer for you. For the first time I think ever I don't have a plan, and I'm fine with that for now."</p><p>"Then I'm fine with it too."</p><p>They walked most of the way back to Gryffindor tower together in a comfortable silence. He left her a few hallways down and took an extra lap around so that they wouldn't arrive together. It seemed so natural to him now, the sneaking around.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. OWLs</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James hadn't been super nervous about his previous OWLs before, but he thought maybe he would be when the time came for Defense Against the Dark Arts. When he woke up the next morning, however, he felt quite relaxed. Opening his curtains he saw that Peter, on the other hand, was frantically flipping through pages of textbooks trying to cram at the last minute.</p><p>"Tell me you haven't been up all night," James said to his friend.</p><p>"No. Woke up an hour or so ago though and couldn't fall back asleep. Figured it was a sign that I needed to study more," replied Peter without taking his eyes off the page.</p><p>"Well good on ya then mate." He ruffled Peter's hair on his way into the bathroom.</p><p>It wasn't long before everyone was up and ready and they headed downstairs. Breakfast was quiet; the only people down there that early were the fifth and seventh years who had tests today, and most of them were studying still or just worrying in silence. Eventually though it was time for the test and everyone had to get out so the house tables could be moved and the individual desks set up. James, at least, was feeling fairly confident.</p><p>Walking out he felt just as confident. The tests had gone well, he thought. Not perfect, but definitely enough to continue on with NEWT level next year.</p><p>"How about that last question on the second page, eh boys?" Sirius said as they walked out onto the grounds together.</p><p>James laughed. "The one about identifying a werewolf? Yeah, that one was really tricky."</p><p>"I thought so too," Peter agreed, though he hadn't picked up on James' sarcasm and was seemingly serious.</p><p>The other three all looked at him. "You're joking," Remus begged, but Peter just blushed furiously.</p><p>"I was nervous! I could barely even remember my own name!"</p><p>"Don't worry Wormy," James tried to comfort him, "you won't need NEWT Defense anyway. There's plenty you can do without."</p><p>They had made it to their favorite tree and sat down. Peter was quietly asking James questions about the test and Remus had pulled out a book to read.</p><p>Sirius was simply looking around at their fellow classmates, mostly the girls, but soon tired of it. "I'm bored," he whined.</p><p>"Well what do you want to do?" Remus asked.</p><p>"I don't know. Something though."</p><p>James rolled his eyes at his childish best friend. When he looked up though he caught a glimpse of Snape sitting nearby and smirked. "I know what you might like to do," he said, nodding his head towards the boy once he had Sirius' attention.</p><p>"You know me so well," smirked Sirius.</p><p>"Must you?" Remus asked, exasperatedly. "It's the last day of the term."</p><p>But James and Sirius had already gotten up and were walking over towards Snape, Peter following close behind. Remus reluctantly got up as well.</p><p>"Alright Snivellus?" James called when they had gotten closer.</p><p>"Potter," Snape sneered back through gritted teeth.</p><p>"How'd your test go Snivelly?" taunted Sirius.</p><p>"Hopefully your hair didn't get too much grease on the parchment. Someone has to grade that, you know." Peter threw in, though he was standing behind Remus as if hiding.</p><p>"I was worried for you." James continued. "I know you're practiced in the dark arts, but perhaps not so much the defense?"</p><p>Snape had apparently had enough. He leapt to his feet wand out, but James was quicker and disarmed him before he had the chance to get a single spell off. He lunged for his wand in the grass a few feet away but Sirius shot an impediment jinx at him stopping him. Snape cursed angrily at them, unable to do anything else paralyzed and without his wand.</p><p>They had drawn quiet a crowd by now. "Think we should make him dance Padfoot?" James mused. "I'm sure everyone here would like a bit of a show."</p><p>Before Sirius could comment someone else pushed through the crowd. "Leave him alone!" screamed Lily.</p><p>"Evans! Nice of you to join us. Lovely day, yeah? How was your test?" James asked causally.</p><p>"Why do you always have to be such a git? What has he ever done to you?"</p><p>"Nothing in particular."</p><p>"He exists. Isn't that enough?" Sirius added.</p><p>"You're such prats. Just leave him alone, will ya?" She didn't appear to be in a fighting mood today. Not enough to not get involved though of course.</p><p>"I'll stop," James said slowly. He paused. When Sirius looked at him like he was crazy he continued, "if you go out with me."</p><p>Lily laughed. "Not even if it were between you and the giant squid, Potter. Stop trying."</p><p>James and Sirius had been so distracted by Lily's arrival they didn't notice that Snape was out of the impediment jinx until he shot a cutting hex at James that hit him right in the cheek.</p><p>"Bloody hell!" James shouted, both in pain and surprise. He recovered quickly and threw a jinx right back at Snape, lifting him off the ground and hanging him upside down in mid air.</p><p>"Let him down," Lily said calmly.</p><p>When James looked over at her again he realized it was because she too had her wand out, and it was pointed straight at him.</p><p>"Let him down," Lily said again. "Or do you really want to experience my Bat Bogey hex again?"</p><p>"Alright Evans, don't get your knickers in a twist." James muttered the counter curse and Snape fell awkwardly to the ground. Lily's threat had worked; he really didn't want to experience her Bat Bogey hex again. To save face though he turned back to Snape. "You're lucky Evans was here to save you Snivellus."</p><p>"I don't need anyone's help!" Snape shouted. "Especially not a filthy mudblood's."</p><p>Everyone paused for a second in shock. James always knew that Snape was evil and prejudiced against muggleborns like the rest of the Slytherins, but until now that didn't extend to Lily.</p><p>Lily hadn't said anything, so James spoke first. "You apologize to Evans right now!"</p><p>"I don't want him to apologize because of you," she said. She was shaking, though James couldn't tell if it was because she was upset or angry.</p><p>"Well regardless – "</p><p>"Shove off Potter!" she screeched. "I don't need you to defend me. You're just as bad as he is."</p><p>She said this line often and it never failed to make James angry. He was nothing like that slime! The comment was especially effective now. "You can't be serious! I'd never call you a- a you-know-what."</p><p>"Maybe not, but all the same. You're an arrogant prick who only cares about himself," then she turned to Snape, "just like he is." She put her wand back in her robes and walked away.</p><p>"Oi! Evans!" James called, but she wasn't responding.</p><p>When he looked back to the scene at hand Sirius had Snape back up in the air, hanging upside down once again.</p><p>"Who wants to see me take off ol' Snivelly's trousers?" he said in amusement, but Remus finally stepped in.</p><p>"Come on lads," he said calmly. "I think that's enough."</p><p>Sirius let Snape down but hit him with a stunning jinx when he got to the ground. Remus turned on him.</p><p>"So that he doesn't do anything while we walk away!" Sirius reasoned.</p><p>Remus just shook his head and started walking away. The other three followed and the rest of the crowd dispersed, leaving Snape lying on the grass alone until the effects of the spell wore off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. The Aftermath</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James was heated. He couldn't even hear his mates' talking around him as they walked back towards their dormitory; he just let them lead him wherever. He was too busy thinking about all the things he was going to do to Snape the next time he saw the git. How dare he talk to Lily like that? James always knew that Snape was a horrible person, and the one good thing that came out of today was that now Lily knew as well.</p><p>"How am I not supposed to give you both detention?" Remus was asking when James tuned back in.</p><p>"Moony! You wouldn't do that to us, would you?" Sirius gasped.</p><p>"You know I'm happy to let you all get away with whatever as long as no one else knows about it. That was incredibly public though! I need to at least pretend to be a prefect!"</p><p>"Evans didn't give us detention either," James cut in. Remus looked like he was tail spinning. "I wouldn't feel too pressured."</p><p>"Yeah well, she had more on her mind I reckon," Remus said thoughtfully.</p><p>"I can't believe he said that to her," growled James, letting his anger boil back up to the surface.</p><p>"Slimy git," muttered Peter.</p><p>"We really ought to teach him a lesson," Sirius suggested.</p><p>James eyes lit up a bit with excitement, but Remus spoke first. "That's what got us all in this mess to begin with. It's nearly summer. Why don't you lay off for a bit?"</p><p>Sirius was about to argue when Remus continued. "If not for him then for me, for my own sanity." Then he turned to James. "For Lily's sake."</p><p>James suddenly realized that while he was angry, Lily was probably even more upset. She was the one he said those horrible things to after all. "I should probably check on her," he said quietly.</p><p>"Mate, I hate to break this to you, but you're probably not the one she wants to see right now." Sirius laughed.</p><p>James startled. He had spoken mostly to himself, thinking already about how to break away and get to the research lab. Once what Sirius had said registered, however, he was confused. Sure the boys didn't know the extent of James' relationship with Lily, but why wouldn't she want to see him even if they weren't doing what they were doing? "What do you mean? I'm not the one who said those horrible things to her. I've always told her he was bad news."</p><p>"I don't think she'll appreciate the I-told-you-so," Sirius explained.</p><p>"And while you didn't say the words, I'm sure she isn't too fond of the role you played in them coming out," Remus continued.</p><p>"Prongs didn't make him say anything he wouldn't have anyway!" Peter cut in.</p><p>"Yeah!" defended James. "It's not my fault that his true feelings finally came out. Evans is better off now that she knows the truth. Thanks Wormy, at least I know that you're on my side."</p><p>"Come off it, mate. You know we are all on your side," Remus sighed, "no matter what. I'm just saying – "</p><p>"Yeah!" Sirius interrupted. "Don't think for one second I'd ever side against you. I'm not saying what we did today was wrong by any means. Right Moony?"</p><p>"Not exactly what I was thinking…" Remus muttered. "I'm just saying that while she may be better off without him, she probably won't feel that way right away. She's not going to be thanking you for exposing him."</p><p>"He exposed himself!" James fought back. This was ridiculous. Remus didn't know what he was talking about, especially not with the added dynamic of James' and Lily's relationship.</p><p>Remus was done fighting it seemed though, because he didn't respond any further and they walked back the rest of the way in silence.</p><p>When they got back to the room, James still didn't say a word as he grabbed his invisibility cloak from his trunk and made to leave right back out the door.</p><p>"Where are you going?" squeaked Peter, ready to go with wherever it may be.</p><p>"Out," James said simply in response. When he saw Peter's face fall a bit he softened. "Sorry Wormy, just need a minute alone."</p><p>"Why are you taking the cloak?" Remus questioned.</p><p>"Just in case."</p><p>"Well don't do anything stupid." Clearly Remus' annoyance wasn't all gone.</p><p>"Don't try to talk to Evans!" Sirius added as James was walking out.</p><p>James shook his head and stuffed his invisibility cloak inside his robes. He didn't think he'd need it; he only ever did when he got to the room way earlier than Lily and had to wait outside. She had the key and he had no way in without her and he didn't want to be caught loitering outside the room by any passers-by. This had only happened once in the past, but since then he's brought the cloak with him just in case.</p><p>It was a good thing he did, because when he got down to the dungeons the door wasn't propped open. He knocked lightly in case Lily was inside but had forgotten to leave it open for him. When there was no answer he sank to the ground against the wall opposite the door and threw the invisibility cloak over himself to wait.</p><p>He quickly became uncomfortable on the ground. He wanted to stretch out his legs, but didn't want them going across the middle of the hallway. It would surely defeat the purpose of being under the cloak if he made a ruckus scrunching back up so someone didn't trip over his legs. Instead he stretched out length-wise along the wall and laid down on his stomach, chin propped on his hands. He wished he had brought his quidditch magazine or something to read, though he didn't realize he would be waiting long. He was awfully bored though.</p><p>A while later James sat up with a start. He had fallen asleep on accident and now woke up unsure of where he was at first or what time it was. When he realized he was still on the floor in the dungeons he sighed. He figured Lily was caught up with her roommates and unable to get away. They were probably worried about her and wanted to comfort her. Slowly he got up. He was quite uncomfortable from sleeping on the hard floor. By his discomfort and grogginess, he figured he must have been asleep for a few hours. The boys would probably be worried. He kept his cloak on and walked back to Gryffindor tower.</p><p>When James walked in the dormitory room, the rest of the marauders were all on the floor between Remus' and Peter's beds. Peter was lying down asleep, but Remus and Sirius were sat up, propped against the side of the bed, talking quietly. They turned though at the sound of the door opening and Sirius kicked Peter awake.</p><p>"Where have you been?" demanded Sirius.</p><p>"Sorry mum, was just out for a stroll and lost track of time." James answered. He sent up a silent 'thank you' that they clearly hadn't used the map. He wasn't sure how to explain what he had been doing if they had. "If you had checked the map you'd know that."</p><p>"Well that would have been an invasion of your privacy," Sirius said.</p><p>"Yeah, and we couldn't find it." Remus rolled his eyes. "Thought maybe you took it with you."</p><p>"Nah, it's in my bag," explained James.</p><p>"Bloody book bag," Sirius muttered.</p><p>"You didn't have to wait up for me though," James said.</p><p>"We thought maybe you found Lily and she hexed you into next week," Remus explained.</p><p>"Or you went into the dungeons and Snivellus or some other Slytherins got to you," continued Peter, as if he knew more than he was letting on. How else would he guess that James had gone to the dungeons? James didn't have time to linger on this thought for long though before Sirius spoke again.</p><p>"Yeah! You could have been killed for all we knew!"</p><p>Sirius always was a bit dramatic. James smiled. "I'm touched that you guys were so worried about me, but really nothing's wrong. I was just wandering and lost track of time. That's why I brought my cloak with anyway, just in case. I figured you would look at the map if anything."</p><p>They all grumbled, but seemed to accept James' explanation. Mostly they were just too tired to care anymore since there was no more reason to worry. They all went to bed, hoping to get a couple hours of sleep at least. They had to wake up early tomorrow to catch the train back to London.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. The Train Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning they all woke up irritated, Remus, Sirius, and Peter from lack of sleep, and James from having slept on the cold dungeon floor for so long. He thought his back would never be the same. They didn't talk much through breakfast or in the carriage ride to the train. They quickly found an empty compartment and Remus, Sirius, and Peter all sat in a corner and laid their head backs. James smiled and stifled a laugh. Apparently he'd be entertaining himself for a while while his friends caught up on their sleep.</p><p>He took the opportunity to catch up on some quidditch magazines. He was always eager to read about the new equipment they had coming out as well as how the different teams were shaping up for the coming season. Once he had exhausted those he pulled out the snitch that he had nicked from Flich's office and played with that a bit. It wasn't fun for very long, especially in this small space and with no one else. While it could get a bit annoying, he sometimes enjoyed how impressed Peter was when James caught the snitch over and over again.</p><p>He bored of that quickly and sighed, looking out of the window. They were no longer near the castle anymore, but they still had a long ride ahead of them. James looked around him then. His friends were all still sound asleep and he felt bad waking them just because he was bored. It was his fault that they were all up so late anyway. He decided to get up and stretch his legs a bit. He figured he'd look for the sweets trolly and grab a few things for the lads when they woke up. That would mend any potentially lingering ill will they felt towards him for the previous night.</p><p>He had just walked into the next train car when he saw a flash of red disappear into a compartment ahead. He knew immediately it must be Lily. He continued walking and looked inside the compartment when he got near. Lily was all alone, sitting on one of the benches. She was hugging her legs to her chest and had her head down on her knees. James decided to join her, opening the compartment door and shutting it softly behind him.</p><p>As soon as he had opened it Lily spoke. "I'm fine Mar," she sighed, not having picked her head up. "I just need a minute. I'm sorry. I'll be back in shortly."</p><p>"It's ahh… not Marlene," James said lamely, clearing his throat.</p><p>Lily whipped her head up and finally saw whom she was talking to. She glared at him. "Go away Potter."</p><p>"What's wrong Evans?"</p><p>"What's wrong? Are you serious right now? Did you forget about what happened yesterday?"</p><p>"Of course I haven't! I'll never forget or forgive what that git said to you!"</p><p>"You know what? Just stop. I don't have the energy to even fight you any more. I can't have another person try to talk to me about this."</p><p>"Dorm mates a little over bearing I take it?" James guessed. They must have been all over her about it yesterday and probably today as well. No wonder she wanted him to go away when she thought he was Marlene. "They mean well, you know that."</p><p>"Of course I know that, but I can't stand it anymore. Asking me if I'm alright, asking me if I'm sure that I'm alright, telling me it doesn't matter anyway, that Sev-" she took an angry breath through her nose, "that Snape is a tosser and I don't need him in my life."</p><p>"They're right. You're better than him, always have been."</p><p>"He happens to be my best friend and the only person I have when I go home for summer! Had anyway."</p><p>She looked sad. James realized that she was sad about losing Snape rather than about what he said and he didn't understand it. "You heard what he said yesterday. That's how he truly feels. He was never really your friend."</p><p>"Gee thanks Potter. Really kick me while I'm down why don't you?"</p><p>"I'm just saying…"</p><p>"You're just bragging!" Lily was on her feet now. "You're bragging because you were right. He was a slimy git all along and poor Lily was too stupid to see it the whole time."</p><p>"I'm not – " James started to defend, but Lily wouldn't let him.</p><p>"You know he never would have said that if you hadn't provoked him. Why'd you do it? Why do you always have to do it?"</p><p>"He deserves everything I've done to him. More even. You have to see that now."</p><p>"Please." Lily rolled her eyes.</p><p>James huffed. He didn't understand where she was coming from at all here. "He may not have said it out loud yesterday if it weren't for me, but that doesn't mean that he wasn't thinking it, that he hasn't been thinking it, that he wouldn't have said it in the future."</p><p>"Save it. I've heard it all from the girls already. You don't have to convince me anymore that I'm a fool."</p><p>"You aren't a fool Lily. You are better off without him though." Internally James realized that that was the first time he had called Lily by her first name to her face. It hit him then how far they had come that year. He had really started to care about her.</p><p>If Lily noticed she didn't say anything. "Yeah," she sighed, "I'm realizing that I'm better off without a lot of people."</p><p>"What's that mean?"</p><p>"It means that I don't know what I was doing with you this year." As she spoke her voice rose again. It wasn't anger anymore that James saw in her. He couldn't quite place it. "I'm not sure what was going through my head that first time I pulled you aside, but it worked how I needed it to and I latched onto that."</p><p>James didn't know what to say. He didn't have to though, because Lily kept going.</p><p>"I used you, and you let me for whatever reason. There's no point in denying that something changed along the way. I wasn't doing it for the same reasons. I thought maybe that I had been wrong about you and you weren't so bad."</p><p>James smiled at this. Something had changed for him, and he had long hoped that she would admit it had changed for her too. Before he could tell her that, however, she continued.</p><p>"But I was wrong. Or rather, I wasn't wrong before. You are exactly who I've always known you were. You're a prat. Always have been; always will be. You can't change. Yesterday sucked, but at least it brought me back to my senses. I remember now."</p><p>"Remember what?" James asked.</p><p>"That I hate you," she said simply. She edged past him out of the compartment door. It took James a moment, but he wheeled around into the hallway after her.</p><p>"Wait," he said confused.</p><p>"No. Leave me alone Potter." And with that she went into what he assumed was her original compartment with her friends and left him behind.</p><p>What had just happened? James didn't know how that ended up the way that it had. He walked back to his compartment in a daze, thinking back over everything that was said.</p><p>When he got back, the three other marauders were awake and talking to one another.</p><p>"Prongsie!" Sirius greeted. "Where you been mate?"</p><p>"I uhh… I was look… looking for the trolly."</p><p>"Didn't find her?" Peter asked disappointedly.</p><p>"What's wrong mate?" Remus asked at the same time.</p><p>"Nothing," James lied. "All good."</p><p>Sirius and Peter were already distracted talking about something else. Remus looked skeptical but didn't push the matter, turning to join the other conversation. It seemed as though his friends had all their energy back. James on the other hand felt like the life had been drained from his body.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Summer Holiday</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Summer started just like every other year. The marauders' home base was Potter mansion and the boys were over practically everyday. The only difference this year was that within the first week Sirius had gotten into a huge fight with his parents and had officially moved in with James' family. They didn't make a huge deal about it, not wanting to upset Sirius, and it didn't change much after all. James had always thought of Sirius as a brother and James' parents had always considered him like a second son. James talked about the situation as positively as possible whenever it came up to make sure Sirius knew that everything was alright. Mostly though, they went on as normal.</p><p>James had spent a while worrying over his situation with Lily. He didn't like how they ended things on the train. She had been upset and he clearly hadn't said the right things. He had gone and messed everything up and was desperate to figure out a way to set it right. He wondered for a while if he should send her an owl and touch base. He warred with himself over it for a few days before bringing it up with the boys as casually as possible while they were all sat in the grass outside one day.</p><p>"What do you want to send Evans a letter for?" Sirius questioned. Of course they wouldn't understand since they weren't aware of the extent of James' relationship with Lily.</p><p>"Well she was pretty upset after what happened and I just thought maybe we should check on her."</p><p>Sirius continued to look at him skeptically.</p><p>James continued, trying to say something that would make some sense. He remembered her telling him that she planned on spending most of the summer with Snape since her sister was such a cow. He winced a little at the thought. "I heard Mary say once that Snivellus and Evans were friends at home. She might not have anyone now. Might be nice to provide a friendly face so to speak."</p><p>"Yeah," Sirius dragged out like he was talking to a child. "That's what her girl friends are for."</p><p>"Padfoot is right," added Remus. "You're well intentioned, but I don't know that the 'friendly face' she needs right now is yours."</p><p>James looked down. He didn't like their advice, but he would take it. He asked for it after all. Not to mention that he didn't take their advice not to push her immediately after the incident and that didn't turn out in his favor.</p><p>"Well intentioned my arse!" laughed Sirius. "Prongs here is just trying to play the nice guy and score some points with Evans. Maybe it'll help him finally get in her kickers next year."</p><p>James rolled his eyes at his friend.</p><p>Sirius continued. "I respect the move mate, but you need to get some better timing. Stick with me. I'll help you out." He had a wide grin on his face.</p><p>"Moony, would you please?" James said, shaking his head.</p><p>Remus obviously knew what James was asking because without question he shoved Sirius' shoulder, making him fall over to a laying position and wiping the grin from his face.</p><p>Sirius recovered quickly however. "Hey now, don't get all mad because I can bag any bird in the school if I wanted. I'll teach you my ways too if you want Moony."</p><p>Remus was laughing. "No thanks. I don't think I'm interested in the Sirius-Black-method."</p><p>"You just have to be confident. Just go in for it. Like this!" Sirius suddenly lunged at Remus as if he was going in for a kiss. Remus easily blocked and the two started wrestling, getting further and further away from James and Peter as they did so.</p><p>James just sat back on his hands and laughed at his friends. Peter broke the silence, however.</p><p>"Don't worry Prongs mate. She'll come back around. Give her time."</p><p>Once again James got the impression that Peter knew more than he was letting on. Before he had the chance to ask, Peter answered.</p><p>"I saw you on the map. I wasn't looking for you on purpose, but I was just looking around bored one night and saw you in some room with Lily. Thought it was weird, but you didn't mention anything when you got back to the room. Saw you down there together again a couple nights later. I put two and two together."</p><p>James was stunned. He didn't think anyone had caught on, especially not Peter.</p><p>"The others don't know. I didn't tell them. Figured you'd tell us all if and when you wanted us to know." He laughed a little then. "Actually stopped them from looking at the map a couple times when I thought you'd be there so they wouldn't see. I think they thought I was mad."</p><p>James smiled. He wasn't going to try and deny any of it; there was no point. "You're a good friend Wormy."</p><p>Peter smiled. Apparently he liked the appreciation. Suddenly he scrunched his nose. "You know, I'm not sure if the nicknames are a great idea."</p><p>James laughed. All the seriousness of their conversation melted away. "I'm sorry that yours isn't the most flattering, but you know we don't mean anything bad by it."</p><p>"I know. I don't know if everyone else knows though since our animagus forms are secret and all that. You're mum pulled me aside yesterday and told me I need to stand up for myself with you guys more often. Thought you were bullying me."</p><p>James laughed again. She was such a mum. "Sorry about that."</p><p>"I'm not offended by it. I'm just saying."</p><p>"Just saying what?" Sirius asked. He and Remus had stopped wrestling and rejoined the other two, both out of breath.</p><p>"That maybe we should stop with the nicknames, at least when there are other people around," answered Peter.</p><p>Sirius looked offended by the idea, but James spoke up first.</p><p>"He has a point Pads. The nicknames don't make much sense to people outside our group, but they are dreadfully obvious if you know. If anyone thinks too hard about it…"</p><p>"Fair point." Remus agreed. "Snape is already suspicious of me. And you lot calling me Moony all the time? He doesn't need any help jumping to conclusions."</p><p>Sirius sighed, seeing the point but not being happy about it. "Fine," he agreed. "We keep it to ourselves from now on."</p><p>They all laughed at how sad he looked over some silly nicknames.</p><p>After that, summer continued with the four of them just messing around like normal. James had taken their advice and not tried to write to Lily. He tried to put her out of his mind for the time being. This was easy enough when Remus and Peter were over and the four of them were hanging out. When they weren't over it was just him and Sirius and Sirius seemed to only ever want to talk about girls. Who he had already hooked up with, who he wanted to, where the best spots were… James obviously knew that the research lab was the best spot, but Sirius didn't know that. That was the problem with these conversations with Sirius, they always led James to think about Lily.</p><p>Rather than continuing to get pulled into them, James took up exercising. Sirius said he was mad at first, but James explained that he simply wanted to be in shape for quidditch as he was going to be captain this year, which was mostly the reason. Sirius refused to join, saying that he wanted to enjoy his summer of freedom before James whipped him and the rest of the team into shape later. James was secretly happy for the alone time and didn't push his friend to join any further.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. The Train Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the end of the summer James was properly fit. His endurance was up, he had gained a good amount of muscle, and he even hit a growth spurt that helped shed any lingering baby fat. He was fairly happy with the results.</p><p>James was standing now with Sirius, saying goodbye to his parents before they got on the train back to school. He was looking around for Remus and Peter while Sirius was getting pulled into a hug by James' mum.</p><p>"You two be good," she said tearfully. She was always a mess dropping him off for the new school year. "Take care of each other."</p><p>"Yes, ma'am," Sirius answered.</p><p>James sniggered to himself, eyes still scanning the crowd around him. A group of girls passed him, giggling. "Hi James!" one of them said sweetly and caught his eye before moving on with the others.</p><p>"Blimey! Was that Daphne Lewis?" Sirius asked. "She's the fittest bird in seventh year, probably the whole castle. What's she doing talking to you?"</p><p>James shoved his shoulder.</p><p>"Must be the new look. You've really grown up this summer Jamie," joked Sirius further. "Imagine the damage you can do."</p><p>"Sirius!" James' mother gasped. James' father also was looking at them sternly when his wife looked to him for support. He gave them a sly wink though when she turned away.</p><p>"Sorry," Sirius mumbled, though he was still grinning.</p><p>James just blushed. He didn't really like talking about this in front of his parents. Not to mention that the girl talk had immediately made him think about Lily again. He would have to find her on the train and talk to her. He couldn't wait any longer.</p><p>"He's only joking mum," James said. He hugged her quickly. "Bye! Love you!" He grabbed his trunk with one hand and Sirius' sleeve with the other, dragging them both toward the train.</p><p>"Do you have to be such a git in front of them?" he asked Sirius once they were out of earshot of his parents.</p><p>"Don't be such a prude. They were Hogwarts students too once. Engaged before they even left school, right? Who knows what kind of stuff they got up to back then," taunted Sirius.</p><p>James faked ill. He didn't want to know. "Alright. Just drop it."</p><p>Sirius laughed but he did drop it. They made their way to an empty compartment and talked instead about quidditch. James was excited about tryouts and eager to start the season. He was telling Sirius all about his plans for the team when Remus walked in.</p><p>"Moony!" said Sirius excitedly. "So glad to see you!"</p><p>"I saw you two days ago." Remus said back dryly.</p><p>"Yes, well now Prongs here can talk your ear off about quidditch strategies while I go to the loo." Without another word Sirius left the compartment.</p><p>"Prat," James said after him. "I was just trying to get his opinion on a couple different options for strategies. He should be interested. He's on the team too!"</p><p>"No one is as interested in quidditch as you mate."</p><p>James chuckled. That was probably true. They moved on to other topics and before long Sirius was back, this time with Peter.</p><p>"Oi! Found this one wandering around scared and alone. Can we keep him?" Sirius joked.</p><p>"Shove off," Peter grumbled.</p><p>"Where you been mate?" Remus asked. "Nearly missed the train."</p><p>"No. I've been on the train, I just couldn't find you lot. I swear I looked in this car already."</p><p>"How do you get lost on a train?" teased James. "There's only one hallway!"</p><p>"That's what I said!" laughed Sirius.</p><p>Peter tried in vain to defend himself as the train started to move. Luckily for him the conversation went in another direction soon after.</p><p>They were all laughing a while later when they were interrupted by a soft knock on the door. They looked up and saw none other than Lily Evans standing there. James was stunned. She looked prettier than ever. What was she doing here? Was she looking for him? He had wanted to try and find her. Before he could act though, Remus stood up. "Ah, nearly forgot about the prefect meeting. See you later boys." He slid the door open. "Hello Lily. Thanks for reminding me. How was your summer?"</p><p>James didn't hear how her summer had been. The door closed behind Remus and they walked away. Lily didn't even take another glance inside the compartment. Apparently she wasn't there for him.</p><p>Peter gave him a pitiful look so he put on a smile to ebb his friend's worry. She was probably just focused on getting to the meeting. No big deal. Everything would be fine once he talked to her.</p><p>He suggested a game of exploding snap and Sirius jumped on the idea. Peter said he was happy to sit the first round out. He'd play winner for the next game.</p><p>A little under an hour later the game was over and James had won.</p><p>"Alright," Sirius grumbled. "Go ahead and play Wormy, but I want a rematch when it's over!"</p><p>"Moony should be back soon," Peter said as he collected the cards.</p><p>It seemed innocent enough; Remus would be back soon so maybe he would want to play a round or they'd switch to something else. James caught Peter's pointed look his way though. He was trying to tell him something. He had confided in Peter a few times over the summer about his situation, relieved to have someone that he could actually talk to about it. Peter admitted his inexperience in the area, but promised that he would help however possible. Was he trying to help now? What was he saying? Remus would be back soon, meaning that the prefects' meeting was over or nearly over, meaning that Lily would be walking down the hallway soon as well. James could kiss Peter he was so thankful for the idea.</p><p>"Actually mate," James said to Sirius, "why don't you play Wormy. I've got to use the loo and you need the practice."</p><p>"Cheeky bastard," he heard Sirius say, but James was already out the door. He walked in the direction that he thought Lily had come from before until he found the compartment with the other Gryffindor sixth year girls. He doubled back then and went into an empty compartment between his and the girls'. He figured that Lily and Remus would walk back together, so Lily would have to walk past here to get to her friends. He left the door open so that he could hear them coming and waited.</p><p>He had only waited a few minutes before he heard their voices down the hallway.</p><p>"I'll find you after dinner and we can round up the first years together," Remus said.</p><p>"Sounds good Remus," Lily said back, "See you then."</p><p>James got to his feet. When Lily came into view he grabbed her and pulled her into the compartment, twisting around and closing the door behind him. He had grabbed her round the waist and had her pinned to his body, but she was smacking him in the chest in an effort to fight back against the attack.</p><p>"It's me. Evans! It's me! Calm down!" he said, loosening his hold on her and letting her step back.</p><p>"Potter?" she huffed, pushing her hair back from her face. "What do you want?"</p><p>"How was your summer?" he asked instead.</p><p>"Peachy," she answered coldly. She crossed her arms in front of her chest.</p><p>James swallowed. He was suddenly nervous. "Great! I was going to write you but uhh… thought maybe you'd be busy." He spent the entire summer thinking about what he was going to say to her and now none of it was coming to mind.</p><p>"What would you want to write me for?"</p><p>"I just wanted to check in –"</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes.</p><p>"And apologize for how things went down at the end of last year."</p><p>At that her eyebrows raised. She didn't say anything though so James continued.</p><p>"I shouldn't have come at you like that on the train ride home. You were clearly still upset and didn't need me there telling you more about how much of a prick Sniv- uh… Snape… is."</p><p>"Let me get this straight. You're apologizing for talking to me on the train the next day, not about what happened after OWLs?"</p><p>"Well, I am sorry about what happened then too. He shouldn't have said those nasty things about you. You didn't deserve that."</p><p>"So you're apologizing for what Snape said."</p><p>"Well yeah. I knew you were upset, with that and with fighting with me. I went to the research lab after but you didn't show. I figured your girls were comforting you; I should have known to leave it alone the next day."</p><p>"The girls were trying to make me feel better. But Potter, the reason I didn't go to that room to find you was because I didn't want to see you."</p><p>"Right." James hesitated. He didn't know what to say to that. He had assumed that she wanted to meet him after the fight like always but couldn't make it and then he made matters worse the next day. "I just want to be able to make it up to you."</p><p>"You want to know how you can make it up to me?" she asked rhetorically. James nodded anyway. "You can leave me the hell alone." She spoke with no anger in her voice. Her words hit James like ice. She walked out of the room then, leaving him alone again.</p><p>He took a moment to collect himself before heading back to his compartment. He was stopped a couple doors away by Daphne Lewis. "Hi James," she said to him again.</p><p>"Hi," he said back, adding in a weak smile. He didn't really want to talk to her, but he didn't want to be rude.</p><p>"We should hang out some time, yeah?" she asked.</p><p>"Sure," he said, not really listening. "Yeah. Sounds great. See you around." He walked past her and into the compartment with his friends.</p><p>"You alright mate?" Sirius asked when he came in.</p><p>"Huh?" James said back.</p><p>"You've been in the bathroom forever. You all good?"</p><p>"Oh, yeah. I got sidetracked." Peter's eyes widened, so James explained further before he could be questioned. "Talking to Daphne." It wasn't entirely false.</p><p>"Ooo, very nice!" Sirius said, clapping James on the back. "I definitely approve."</p><p>Sirius went back and forth between musing about what Daphne would be like in bed, congratulating James on bagging her, complaining that James had done so before he could, and insisting that he hear all the details once something happened for the rest of the train ride.</p><p>By the time they got to school, James was sick of hearing about it and gladly welcomed the boring sorting hat ceremony and opening statements as a break.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A New Year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't know what to do Wormy," James said dejectedly one night, a few days into the new school year. He hadn't had a chance to get his friend alone yet and couldn't wait any longer. The other two were asleep, so James dragged Peter onto his bed, closed the curtains, and cast a Muffliato charm so they could finally talk. "The talk on the train didn't go well if you couldn't tell."</p><p>"You seemed off when you got back. I figured." Peter said back with pity in his voice. James couldn't bring himself to care.</p><p>James recounted the entire conversation from the train back to school as well as his conversation with Lily on the train home at the beginning of the summer.</p><p>"That's rough mate," Peter said lamely.</p><p>"Not exactly the assistance I was hoping for," James grumbled back in annoyance.</p><p>"Right, sorry. Uh… She said to leave her alone, right? Maybe you should try that."</p><p>James shot him an incredulous look. Really, why did Peter have to be the one to find out his secret?</p><p>"Just for a little bit!" Peter rushed out. "She's just going to pull further away the more you push her. She needs space."</p><p>James relaxed a little. "That makes some sense…"</p><p>"Meanwhile, she said that you couldn't change, so show her that you can. Prove that you aren't the prat she thinks you are."</p><p>"How do you suggest I do that?"</p><p>"Don't be yourself."</p><p>James hit him with a pillow but laughed. Despite Peter not having much experience in the area, he had some good points. His faced dropped again though. "What if it doesn't work? What if I put in all the effort to change and she doesn't come around? What if I give her space and she uses it to get even further away?"</p><p>"Then you'll be a better person regardless and will find someone who can appreciate that." Peter blushed. That was cheesy, but James appreciated it. "Just sleep on it and we can talk specific game plans tomorrow if you like."</p><p>James could tell that his friend was tired, so he agreed to go to bed and let him sleep. James didn't need to sleep on it though; he knew Peter was right. He had grown up physically over the summer and it was time that he grew up emotionally to match.</p><p>So, that's just what he did. For the next month he worked on his homework in the common room now rather than in private; it took him more time since it was harder to concentrate, but at least now everyone knew how responsible he actually was in that area. He still pulled pranks with the other marauders, but insisted that they were more careful about not getting caught. He stopped hexing people who didn't deserve it. He could even be found occasionally helping underclassmen with their homework. Sirius didn't approve at all of the changes and kept demanding to know what was up. Remus did approve, however, and Peter of course had his back, so they were usually able to team up on Sirius. Usually.</p><p>"Thanks James," a first year boy said smiling. They were sitting in the common room and James had just answered some of his homework questions.</p><p>"Don't mention it Henry. Charms can be a bear, but you'll get the hang of it. Just keep working at it." James answered back. The boy smiled wider and walked away. James followed his movement across the room and his eyes landed on Lily who was looking at him skeptically. James looked away quickly and went back to his chess match with Sirius.</p><p>"Are you quite done?" Sirius said, annoyed. "I don't like this new little tutoring gig of yours. It's cutting into my free time."</p><p>"It was just a quick question," James said while he made his next move.</p><p>"It shouldn't have been a question at all. Charms is so simple! If that kid doesn't understand this stuff then he's a lost cause."</p><p>"I struggled with Charms too," Peter tried to help. "You guys always helped me."</p><p>"Yeah but Pete, you're our friend," Sirius explained. "Of course I don't mind helping you. But a firstie? They should be scared to approach us, not coming up to us unannounced whenever they please!"</p><p>"Sirius, mate, it's really not a big deal," Remus joined in.</p><p>"Of course you'd say that!" Sirius exclaimed. "You're thrilled at the new James. I know it was you who made him change. He's just like you now!"</p><p>"And what's wrong with that?" Remus asked while James shared a small smile with Peter.</p><p>"You know we all love you Remus, but our group only needs one responsible bloke. That's your role. Let poor James get back to his role as leader."</p><p>"I don't see myself as the leader!" James protested. "We're all equal."</p><p>"Not that kind of leader," said Sirius. "You're the one who got us all together back in first year and you tend to set the tone for everything now. Remus is too responsible and I'm too unhinged. You find the workable middle ground. You've been far too much on his side of things lately though!"</p><p>"Just cause I don't want to spend all my free time in detention anymore doesn't mean I'm uptight."</p><p>"Whatever you say. I just miss my mate." Sirius actually looked put off.</p><p>James didn't know what to say to that and apparently neither did Remus or Peter. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a little while until everyone else started filing out of the common room and Peter nervously suggested they head to dinner.</p><p>James, Remus, and Peter were making light conversation on the way down when James suddenly saw something that made him stop. Lily was in the hallway ahead of them talking to someone. Talking to a guy! She even had the nerve to be nervously tucking some hair behind her ear like she fancied the guy! James recovered quickly. He saw Peter's nervous look his way, but he didn't figure the other two noticed his pause. "Who's that with Evans?" He tried to act cool.</p><p>"Huh?" Remus said. "Oh him? That's Liam Adams. He's the male Hufflepuff prefect for our year."</p><p>"So they're probably talking about rounds or something?" James asked hopefully.</p><p>"Doesn't look like their talking about rounds," Sirius sniggered. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say Evans got herself a boyfriend."</p><p>"I'm sure he isn't her boyfriend," Peter tried to reason on James' behalf.</p><p>"I don't think so," Remus agreed. James sighed in relief. Remus continued though. "I know he asked her to Hogsmead this weekend though, so who knows?"</p><p>James felt like he was going to be sick. He hardly ate anything at dinner.</p><p>"I'm sorry mate," Peter whispered next to him when Remus and Sirius weren't paying attention.</p><p>"No worries," James tried. "We knew this was a possibility."</p><p>"Still…"</p><p>"Best start looking for that other girl who will appreciate the new me."</p><p>He was joking, but like clockwork Sirius called a "Hey ladies!" from across the table at that very moment. James looked up and noticed his friend looking in his direction but beyond. He turned around and saw Daphne Lewis standing behind him with her fellow Ravenclaw seventh year girls.</p><p>"Hi James," Daphne said sweetly, though her eyes were more mischievous than sweet. The girls around her all giggled.</p><p>"Hello," James said back.</p><p>"I was just talking to the girls about how nice of a night it is outside. It would be the perfect night for a stroll, don't you think?"</p><p>"That would be nice. Hope you lot have fun."</p><p>James felt a sharp kick to his shin under the table. He looked over and saw Sirius clenching his teeth at him. James gave him a curious look, but Sirius had started talking. "James, you were just saying how much you wanted to walk around the grounds tonight, weren't you?"</p><p>"I was?" James asked, confused. Sirius kicked him again and it finally clicked in James' head what his friend was doing. "I was!" He turned back towards Daphne and her friends. "Running out of good weather. Wouldn't want to waste tonight, would we? Care to accompany me?"</p><p>"I'd love to," Daphne answered. "Meet me in the entrance hall in 10 minutes?"</p><p>"See you there!" James smiled and the girls walked away giggling.</p><p>"I sure hope she doesn't bring her friends," James said once they'd gone. "Seems as though all they do is giggle to each other."</p><p>"I don't want to touch on the fact that you can't see the beauty of being the only bloke with four older women around. You nearly messed up your chances with the one!" Sirius commented. "Lucky I was there to save you."</p><p>"Maybe James didn't need saving," Peter suggested. "Maybe he doesn't fancy Daphne."</p><p>"Then he'd be blind," Sirius said back.</p><p>Peter was about to say something else, but James stopped him. "Sirius is right. Why shouldn't I like Daphne? She's fit, and she seems to be into me. Could be fun." He twitched his eyebrows up a couple times suggestively.</p><p>Remus groaned while Sirius clapped. "That's my boy! I new you'd come back to me!" he said. Meanwhile, Peter was shooting James a worried look, but James wasn't trying to pay it any attention. Peter could be worried all he wanted. If Lily was dating then he should too. He said goodbye to the boys and headed out to the entrance hall to meet up with Daphne.</p><p>The two of them walked around the grounds for a while. Eventually they made their way to the quidditch pitch, one of James' favorite spots when he was alone. His feet just naturally carried him here it seemed.</p><p>"You know," Daphne said, turning towards him, "I've never seen the Gryffindor locker rooms. Are they any different from the Ravenclaw ones?"</p><p>"Have you seen the Ravenclaw rooms?" James asked. She wasn't on the Ravenclaw house team.</p><p>"Once or twice. I'd like to see Gryffindor's. Show me, Captain?"</p><p>James gulped as she took his hand and led him towards the locker rooms. As captain of the team he had the key, so he unlocked the door for her and she dragged him inside.</p><p>She didn't even turn on the lights. She immediately wheeled around and caught him in a kiss, pinning him to the wall beside the door.</p><p>"Mmm!" he hummed in surprise. He wasn't totally clueless, he knew that this was most likely where the night would lead, but he was still surprised at her forwardness. He caught up though and put his hands on her waist while she wound her arms around his neck.</p><p>He flipped them around so that she was pinned between him and the wall. She hitched her one leg up onto his waist, and he responded by grabbing her by the bum and lifting her completely off her feet. She locked her legs around him and he held her in place. It was officially a full-on snogging session.</p><p>They moved around the room a bit from there, though James tripped when he initially tried to find a bench as the lights were still off. Eventually his eyes adjusted and he was able to manage further maneuvers. After a while they broke apart, panting.</p><p>"We better get back," Daphne said, so they started making their way back to the castle.</p><p>When they were just outside the doors she stopped him for another kiss. "This was fun. We should do it again sometime."</p><p>"Yeah," James answered. "Sure."</p><p>They headed inside and went their separate ways. Later, James figured that he ought to have asked her to Hogsmead for the coming weekend.</p><p>When he got back to his dormitory the boys were all still up. James filled them in on what happened to Sirius' insistence, but didn't give them every detail much to his friend's dismay.</p><p>"No way!" Sirius said when James brought up his earlier musings about asking Daphne to Hogsmead. "Keep it casual as long as possible. She clearly doesn't mind. No reason to tie yourself down if you don't have to."</p><p>James nodded. Peter and Remus didn't seem to approve of Sirius' advice, but James didn't care. He was ready to have some fun again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. New Developments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James' relationship, if you could call it that, with Daphne didn't last very long. They hung out a handful of times over the next month, but never made it into anything serious. The whole thing eventually ran it's course and they gradually stopped seeing each other. It wasn't a big deal though. Daphne wasn't the only girl in school who had noticed that James grew up over the summer. He quickly found another girl to fool around with, which carried him through another few weeks.</p><p>This was his pattern for the rest of the semester. Every few weeks he would break from whomever he was "hanging out with" and find someone else. It wasn't cruel. The girls knew from the start that he wasn't looking for anything serious and he made sure to never overlap. He thought it would be better to do it soon before anyone could catch any feelings. He tried not to think about how that had burned him last year with Lily. Maybe if they had broken it off sooner it wouldn't have been such a mess. He also tried not to think about the fact that she had, in fact, started dating that Liam bloke after their Hogsmead date and they were still going out now towards the end of the first semester.</p><p>"Good night?" Sirius asked as James walked into the common room. He was just coming back from his latest snog session.</p><p>"Can't complain," James answered, smirking. "You're back early."</p><p>"My date had to leave early to do prefect rounds."</p><p>"A prefect? What was she doing with you?"</p><p>"I happen to be very charming Jamesie," Sirius joked. "And I happen to like knowing that I'm corrupting them. If I'd known that she had rounds tonight though I would have set something up for after too."</p><p>James rolled his eyes. If he ever felt bad about what he was doing he just needed to compare himself to Sirius and know that he could be much worse. "And what if she were to catch you then on her rounds?"</p><p>Sirius shrugged. "I wouldn't have to deal with a conversation later."</p><p>James was a little curious whom Sirius had been with. They had an unspoken understanding of not mentioning names. One girl James had met up with once turned out to have also gone out with Sirius at some point. Neither of the boys were too keen on the thought. James didn't see her again and he and Sirius started sharing stories but without names, just in case. The pool of eligible girls was small and James and Sirius decided that they would just rather not know.</p><p>Just then Remus walked in to the common room from the dormitory in a huff.</p><p>"What's wrong Remus?" James asked.</p><p>"Nothing," Remus sighed. "My holiday plans just changed. My father has to go away on business, so now I have to stay here instead of going home. It's fine, just sucks that you lot are all going home and I'll be here by myself."</p><p>"Well we can stay too if you'd like," offered Sirius.</p><p>"And leave James' parents all alone? I'd feel too bad. Really, it's fine."</p><p>"Why don't you just come with us then," James said. Remus opened his mouth, but James continued. "My mum loves having everyone around. You won't be a bother at all."</p><p>Remus' protest died in his mouth. James knew that's what he was going to say. He was always worried about being a bother. "You're sure they won't mind?"</p><p>"Of course! The manor is big enough by far, there's always way too much food anyway… If it makes you feel better I'll send them an owl tonight to make sure, but I promise you the answer is yes."</p><p>"Alright," Remus said shyly. Even after all this time he still wasn't used to the complete acceptance by his friends. "Thanks James."</p><p>"Oi!" shouted Sirius. "It's my house now too!"</p><p>"And Sirius," Remus laughed. "Thank you most of all."</p><p>"I feel a bit bad now that Peter won't be there too," James said.</p><p>"His family is actually going on holiday to France, remember. He'll be having plenty of fun without us." Sirius said, apparently not feeling at all bad. James knew that Peter would probably rather be with the three of them than with his parents; he hated being left out. He tried to be convinced by Sirius though and chose not to dwell on it too much.</p><p>The semester ended a few days later and they all headed off home. James loved having his mates stay over just as much as his parents did. He loved coming home and loved his parents, but when it was just them James admittedly got bored rather quickly. He liked having people his own age around.</p><p>It was New Years Eve. Well, technically New Years, as midnight had come and gone already. They celebrated New Years with James' parents and their friends downstairs, but then went upstairs to break away from the adults. They were currently drinking firewhisky and were getting pretty drunk.</p><p>"Moony," Sirius laughed, "I think this is the drunkest I have ever seen you."</p><p>"Well," hiccupped Remus, "we aren't at school. I can do what I want here; I'm not a prefect or breaking any rules."</p><p>"Other than, you know, the actual law about underage drinking," James teased.</p><p>Remus just waved his hand in dismissal. It wasn't often that Remus actually let himself have a lot of fun. He drank with them at school, but never got past tipsy. He pulled pranks with them, but was always the most responsible of the four. James liked seeing his friend so carefree. He deserved it.</p><p>They were currently playing Truth or Dare. Sirius originally protested, claiming that they weren't little girls at a sleepover, but agreed when they turned it into a drinking game. In fact, most of the dares were just various forms of heavy drinking. Occasionally they needed a break though and chose truth.</p><p>"How far do you actually go with your 'dates'?" Remus asked Sirius one round. He put air quotes around the word 'dates' because they had discussed multiple times that what James and Sirius were doing wasn't properly dating.</p><p>"Oh, all the way!" Sirius boasted. "Not with all of them, mind you. I'm not a total slut. Just a lucky few."</p><p>James laughed. He had not gone there with any of his dates. Something always stopped him before he could get very far with any of the girls. He supposed it was in part because he felt bad for the girls that they weren't in a proper relationship. He also figured that he wasn't ready himself, though he wouldn't admit that out loud unless he wanted Sirius to make fun of him for the rest of his life.</p><p>A few rounds later they were all quite a bit drunker. James needed a breather and chose truth.</p><p>"Whose the best snog you've had?" Sirius slurred.</p><p>"Evans," James answered instantly. He hadn't even thought about it.</p><p>"No, he meant in real life," Remus joked, "not in your dreams."</p><p>James threw a pillow at Remus' head but missed completely.</p><p>"Alright boys," Sirius said, standing up. "The school's best chaser can't hit his mark from two feet away and he's spouting nonsense. I think that's a good time to call it a night."</p><p>There were no complaints from the other two. They all got up and went to their separate bedrooms to sleep it off. James dreamed of Lily for the first time in a while.</p><p>A few days later they were all back at the castle for the start of the second semester of their sixth year. They were now a little over a week into classes. James was out for a walk around the halls alone. He would usually be with a girl on a night like tonight when he had no homework or anything to do, but he had just ended his latest fling with a fifth year named Emily early the day before. They had only hung out twice, but she was already much too clingy. James didn't have anyone else in mind that he fancied and figured he could use the breather.</p><p>He had just come down from the astronomy tower and was going for another lap around by some of the classrooms. It had been a while since he had actually wandered the castle on his own, so he was taking his time. He liked this.</p><p>Someone had other plans, however, as he was soon pulled aside behind a statue and was being kissed. He immediately started kissing back, but pulled away thinking it was probably Emily. He was getting ready to tell her that he meant it when he said they shouldn't see each other anymore when he realized it wasn't Emily who had jumped him; it was Lily. He couldn't fully see her face in the tight confines, but knew by her hair that it must be her.</p><p>"Evans?" His surprise was evident. There was no chance of hiding it.</p><p>She didn't answer, just lunged for his lips again. He allowed it briefly, but pulled away again, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on hers.</p><p>"Evans?" he asked again. There was still no answer. "Not that I'm complaining, but what's going on here?" He was having deja vu to the first time this had happened last year. He smiled, but then remembered one thing that was different from last year. "Where's Adams? I'm sure he wouldn't be thrilled about me kissing his girlfriend."</p><p>At that he heard a sob come out of Lily. He opened his eyes and, for the first time, realized that she was crying. He fully pulled away then. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said, holding her by her shoulders. "Evans, what's wrong?"</p><p>She still didn't answer. She just shook her head and tried to hide her face. She apparently realized that James wasn't going to give her what she came here for, so she tried to get away.</p><p>He continued to hold her shoulders. "Just," he started. "Just come with me, yeah?"</p><p>She nodded and allowed him to lead her into an empty classroom just down the hall.</p><p>"There," he said once he closed and locked the door. "A little more privacy. Will you tell me what's wrong now?"</p><p>She didn't try to get away from him anymore, but she didn't answer his question either. She just continued to cry quietly, occasionally letting out a sob that she couldn't hold in.</p><p>"Seriously, Lily. Who do I have to hex?"</p><p>At that she looked up at him and sniffled. "I thought you didn't do that anymore," she said. He voice sounded tight.</p><p>"I don't unless someone deserves it, and clearly someone deserves it now. Just say a name."</p><p>She tried to smile, but it died quickly. She shook her head again instead, clearly not willing to tell him a name. Maybe she was worried that he would actually go hex the person. He would. "Just make me forget," Lily begged, walking towards him again.</p><p>When she got to him he maneuvered her into a hug instead, wrapping her tight in his arms. "You know that's not what you need. You'll regret it later," he said sadly.</p><p>She seemed to agree, or at least accept it. She embraced the hug and let herself go, crying into his chest. He let her, just holding her tight and whispering comfort into her ear. Het let her cry it out until she had nothing left in her. By the time she pulled away she looked exhausted, both mentally and physically.</p><p>"You don't have to if you don't want, but can you tell me what happened?" he asked again once she had calmed down and extracted herself from his arms. "I want to help."</p><p>"You've done enough," she said sincerely. "Really. Thank you James." She kissed him softly on the cheek and left the room.</p><p>He gave her a minute, figuring that she didn't want to walk back to Gryffindor tower together but being so close that there wasn't a good other route he could take. While he waited he couldn't help smiling to himself despite how awful he still felt for her. She called him James.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Let's Have Some Fun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I heard it was with some fourth year girl," James heard some girl whisper to her friends in the common room the next morning. They all looked scandalized. James didn't know what they were talking about and tuned them out as he and the rest of the marauders walked through on their way to a late breakfast. It was Saturday and they had a bit of a lie in.</p><p>They passed another group of people in the hallway on their way down. "Don't know what she expected. Heard she wouldn't put out," one said coldly as they walked by.</p><p>James looked at his friends to see if they heard or made anything of it.</p><p>"Ouch," Peter said. "Bit harsh, no?"</p><p>"Ah… Gotta love the Hogwarts rumor mill," Sirius smiled. "It's always turning."</p><p>"I don't know how these rumors get spread," said Remus just as James said, "Yeah Sirius, and it's usually about you. Tell me you didn't hook up with some poor fourth year girl last night."</p><p>"How do you know they were talking about a fourth year?" Peter asked.</p><p>"Heard some girls talking about it in the common room. At least, I think it was probably the same girl," answered James.</p><p>"I suppose that's how," Remus muttered.</p><p>"Don't worry mate!" Sirius said. "I was with a perfectly respectable sixth year last night."</p><p>"Well if she was perfectly respectable then she wouldn't have been with you, would she?" jabbed Peter.</p><p>They all laughed and forgot about whatever was going on, until they got to the Great Hall that is. They had sat down for breakfast when James heard some Hufflepuffs behind him talking.</p><p>"Did you hear that she was actually the one to catch them?" one asked.</p><p>"Yeah," answered another. "She was doing rounds and caught them in a broom closet."</p><p>James suddenly had a sinking feeling. "Remus, who was doing prefect rounds last night?"</p><p>"What?" asked Remus, having been reading the Daily Prophet and not paying attention.</p><p>"Who was scheduled for rounds last night?" James demanded. All three boys looked up at him at his tone.</p><p>"Not sure…" Remus answered, giving him a questioning look.</p><p>"What's it matter?" asked Sirius, but James had already turned around to the Hufflepuffs behind him. It was a group of three girls who appeared to be third years.</p><p>"Oi!" he said, getting their attention. They all jumped and turned around. When they noticed it was him they all blushed a bit, looking at him in a daze. He softened his tone and turned up the charm. "What are you talking about?"</p><p>They blushed even more and giggled. One finally answered him after they calmed down. "It's all over school," she started. "Lily Evans caught her boyfriend Liam Adams snogging another girl last night."</p><p>"Pity too," another added. "Heard she had just slept with him last week. Apparently once he got what he wanted he moved on."</p><p>"No!" the third one cried in shock. "He's always been such a nice bloke." James stopped listening, turning back towards his food.</p><p>"Poor Evans," Sirius said, though he didn't seem too broken up about it. "I know I don't see eye to eye with her usually, but that's harsh."</p><p>"We don't even know if the rumors are true," Remus said. "They are frequently wrong."</p><p>"Yeah!" Peter cut it. "They've just said that she slept with him, but the girls in the hallway said she didn't. That's already a contradiction, so who knows what else is false."</p><p>"They're always based in fact though." James said with a sigh. "The details may be jumbled, but I think we can probably assume that Adams did something he shouldn't have and Lily at least found out."</p><p>"You're jumping to conclusions. None of us have seen either of them since it supposedly happened. Nothing can be said for sure until then." Remus reasoned.</p><p>James had seen Lily since then though. If the rumors were to be believed, then she probably ran into him on her way back from rounds, right after finding her boyfriend with another girl. No wonder she was so upset. He wondered if he should try and talk to her again. She hadn't wanted to tell him about it last night, but maybe now that he already knew she would be more open to talking. One thing was for sure, he was hexing Adams the next time he saw the prick.</p><p>"Ready Pete?" Remus asked standing up. Peter shoved his last bit of toast in his mouth and nodded.</p><p>"You lot all suck," Sirius groaned. "You two are doing homework and James is going to work out outside in the freezing cold. It's Saturday! We should be having fun! What am I supposed to do?"</p><p>"I'm sure you'll find some way to entertain yourself," Remus said. He and Peter headed off to the library without another word.</p><p>"Sorry mate," James said, not sorry at all. "You could come with me. Working out in the cold is good conditioning for your lungs. Besides, these are the conditions that we play in, so we may as well practice in them as well."</p><p>They had started walking out of the Great Hall together. "No way," Sirius answered. "There is no way you are getting me out there in this weather outside of scheduled practice. You have fun freezing your bits off alone."</p><p>They had reached the doors and were in the entrance hall. Sirius kept going forward while James turned to head outside. Before he could leave the castle though, he heard his best mate speak again. "Oi, Evans! Don't you worry, I'm going to hex the socks off Adams the next time I see him. Teach him what happens when you mess with a Gryffindor."</p><p>James turned back around. Lily was indeed there in the entrance hall. Some people were staring, but some were starting to turn away. It seemed that Sirius' comment had done the trick of breaking the ice so people could laugh it off and leave her alone. "Thanks Black," Lily said with a small laugh. "That's actually rather nice for you."</p><p>"And if you need a shoulder to cry on, I can always pencil you in."</p><p>"There's the Black I know. No, thanks."</p><p>"Suit yourself!" Sirius sang as he turned to walk away.</p><p>James continued to watch Lily. She went to the doors of the Great Hall but paused. Apparently she got a look of the people inside and lost her nerve to go in alone. She turned and looked around wildly, then her eyes landed on James. She started walking determinately towards him. He didn't move. He didn't know what was going on.</p><p>She didn't even stop when she got to him, just grabbed his sleeve and started dragging him with her towards the stairs into the dungeons. "Let's have some fun," she said, but her face was serious.</p><p>James didn't know what she had in mind, but knew that it probably wasn't what she actually wanted or needed right now. Past him would smack him right now, but he couldn't take advantage of Lily in this state. He stopped following her and when she felt the resistance she wheeled around, slightly angry. He held up his hands in surrender so that she didn't go off on him. "I've got a better spot," he said and nodded his head behind him.</p><p>He walked towards the other staircase that led to the kitchens and she followed him. He stopped in front of the portrait and she looked at him like he was crazy. "We're in the middle of a hallway Potter. You know, I really didn't have art appreciation in mind," she said. She clearly had never been to the kitchens. He wasn't surprised.</p><p>"Tickle the pear," he said.</p><p>Now she was really looking at him like he was crazy. "Excuse me?"</p><p>"Tickle the pear," he said again, nodding his head at the painting.</p><p>She mumbled something about him being cracked, but did as he said anyway. She squeaked in surprise when the pear suddenly turned into a door handle. She opened the door slowly and walked inside, James following her.</p><p>She stopped just inside the entrance. A few house elves had come up asking what she would like.</p><p>"They'll make you anything," James said. "Really, name it and they'll make it happen."</p><p>"What…" Lily started. She was looking around the room in awe.</p><p>"It's the kitchens. Figured you were hungry but didn't want to eat in the public Great Hall. I don't blame you. Thought maybe this would be better."</p><p>Lily gave the house elves her order and watched as they set to work. James dragged her over to a small table and sat down across from her.</p><p>"How did you…?" she started again, but she trailed off.</p><p>"Found this place second year. The boys and I have been coming fairly often ever since. We try not to give the house elves too much extra work, but we are frequently hungry outside of meal times and the elves don't mind."</p><p>Just then they brought Lily a plate of food and she dug in. James regaled her with stories of some of his favorite times that he and the marauders had visited the kitchens. In an hour they were both laughing hysterically.</p><p>"It was an all out food fight," James laughed. "It all stopped in an instant though when Remus threw a cream pie and hit Dizzy square in the face!"</p><p>"Oh no!" Lily cried, horrified, though she couldn't stop herself from continuing to laugh.</p><p>"Remus was mortified; he felt so bad. Sirius stayed calm though. He walked right over to Dizzy, wiped the pie from her eyes so she could see and handed her a fresh pie."</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"He told her to throw it at Remus as hard as she could." He paused to laugh. "And she did!"</p><p>"No!" Lily's eyes were wide and bright with excitement.</p><p>"Oh yeah! All the elves joined in with the four of us then and it kept going. You remember that Dizzy?"</p><p>"Yes, sir," one of the elves answered in a high-pitched voice. "Quite the mess, but it was fun." She looked shy as if she didn't want to admit it.</p><p>Lily laughed some more and ended it with a happy sigh. "Hey Potter?" she said. He looked up at her. "Thanks for this. It was fun."</p><p>He smiled then. He was glad that he could make her smile and laugh like this after how upset she had been last night. "Anytime Evans," he answered back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Coming Together and Falling Apart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Lily did not take James up on his offer to hang out again. James wasn't sure what he was expecting; it's not like they were friends. He knew what he had hoped for. He had had a small sliver of hope that this whole ordeal would make her come back to him. She would obviously be single, maybe still a bit upset, and appreciative of the fact that he did not take advantage of her; she would realize that he had changed and was a good guy and she would realize that she wanted to be with him.</p><p>James rolled his eyes at himself. He may as well just finish the thought off with 'and we'd live happily ever after', because it was a fantasy. They were friendlier now than before, but overall nothing had really changed. The sixth year Gryffindor girls had taken to sitting with the boys on occasion, either in the common room or at meals. Lily always sat on the edge of the group though and rarely talked to any of the boys; she never talked directly to James.</p><p>James thought that this was harder than before when they were actively ignoring each other, or when they were fighting all the time, or even when they were fighting all the time and not snogging afterwards. They were civil with each other now, which he found out meant that she held no feelings towards him one way or another. He just had to sit and not do anything about it: not annoy her or fight her or kiss her. He often just ended up staring at her, up close now, but feeling further away than ever.</p><p>At some point a couple weeks after Lily's breakup, Peter got him alone to talk while Remus was doing homework in the library and Sirius was out on a date. "How've you been mate?" Peter asked James gently.</p><p>"I'm great," James lied. Peter shot him a sarcastic and skeptical look, like he didn't have time for games. "Why do you ask?"</p><p>"Because you've been downright depressing lately. Padfoot said the other day that he wished you'd at least go back to the responsible version of yourself from last semester. He's wanting to hold a bloody intervention!"</p><p>"So that's what this is then? You drew the short straw?"</p><p>"I just wanted to talk to you alone before Pads managed to corner you. I want to know if this has anything to do with Lily." There was a pause. James didn't know what to say, so Peter continued. "I thought you'd be thrilled about her falling out with Adams to be honest, and the fact that the girls are spending time with us. It seems to have had the opposite effect though, so what's up?"</p><p>James opened up then. He told Peter all about the night of Lily's breakup with Liam, about going to the kitchens the next morning instead of working out, about the hope he let himself have, and about the thoughts that he'd been having recently that crushed that hope. "I can't stand whatever it is we are right now. I just don't know what more to do," he finished.</p><p>Peter didn't say anything right away, but he looked thoughtful. Finally, he spoke. "I know you don't want to hear this, but I don't know if there's anything you can do, not to change her mind at least. All you can do is change your own mind."</p><p>"What's that mean?"</p><p>"Get over her. Go back to dating other girls; maybe find something more serious even. I know that you've fancied Lily practically forever, but you're miserable because of it. If you aren't interested in her anymore, then it won't hurt so much that she isn't interested in you."</p><p>James flinched a bit at the harsh last statement, but he knew that his friend was right. "I don't know if I can do serious right now, but you have a point mate. You know, you're better at this stuff than you give yourself credit for."</p><p>Peter laughed. "It's much easier when it isn't myself in the situation."</p><p>"We'll get you a girl Wormtail. Between Padfoot and myself we can help you get anyone you fancy."</p><p>"I think I'll pass for now." Peter was blushing. "I do have one more piece of advice."</p><p>"What's that?"</p><p>"Fake it till you make it. I know your mood isn't going to change over night, but pretend? We need you back. Prank-planning James specifically. Sirius is getting antsy to do something stupid."</p><p>"He's always antsy to do something stupid," James laughed, "but alright. I'll see what I can do."</p><p>Over the next few weeks, James did just that. He put on his game face and pretended to be his old self again until he was starting to feel like it might actually be true. He had started going on dates again; still nothing serious, but he liked to think that he was making progress. They pulled a few little pranks, but nothing too big. James still insisted on not getting caught; he rather liked the free time that he'd had this year without all the detentions. He was starting to really feel happy again, and had actually at least started to get over Lily. Life was great, until it all came crashing down.</p><p>Apparently the little pranks weren't enough for Sirius and he still felt the need to do something big and, without the input of the other three, reckless. On the night of the March full moon, he told Snape about the Shrieking shack, about the passage under the Whomping Willow, and what he might find if he followed it.</p><p>James jumped into action as soon as he'd heard what his friend had done. Remus was already at the Shrieking Shack and would turn any moment, they were meant to be there in their animagus forms soon. There was no time to waste. He shouted at Peter to tell McGonagall that Snape might be in trouble and to alert Madame Pomfrey that her services might be needed and then he raced off as fast as he could towards the Whomping Willow.</p><p>James sprinted the whole way down, ignoring Filch's screams that he shouldn't be out of bed. By the time the tree came into view he could see Snape disappearing into the passage. James coughed a bit, his lungs were burning, but he kept going. He made it to the passage before the tree fully woke back up and was thankfully able to slide in without having to prod the knot again.</p><p>He shot a leg locker curse at Snape once he was in range, but Snape deflected it with a shield charm. "Don't bother trying to stop me now Potter. Your secret is already out. Once I see it for myself I'm going to tell the whole school."</p><p>"Don't you realize how dangerous it is?" James choked out. He was still running as fast as he could, trying to catch up. When he finally did he tackled Snape to the ground. They wrestled on the ground a bit. Snape got in an elbow to James nose, breaking it, but James was stronger and didn't let it deter him. He pinned Snape to the ground. "I'm trying to save you you git!" he screamed. There was blood trickling into his mouth rom his nose.</p><p>"You're just trying to save yourself and your friends!" Snape yelled back.</p><p>At that moment they heard a loud growl from the door down the way. They were still a few meters away, but they could hear the werewolf on the other side and, worse yet, James knew that Remus could hear them.</p><p>"We have to get out of here!" he urged Snape. "You know the truth, you don't have to get any closer. He can tell that we're here and he's going to break through that door to get to us any moment. Let's go!"</p><p>Snape had lost all of his confidence and arrogance. He was laying there in fear, not moving. The door flung open and Remus in his werewolf form was in the passage way with them.</p><p>"Come on!" James yelled, dragging Snape up by his robes and pushing him back towards the castle. He threw a stunning jinx at Remus that hit him square in the chest. The werewolf flew back into the room of the Shrieking Shack. James ran that way, shut the door again, and put a locking charm on it. Hopefully Remus wouldn't come this way once he got back up if James and Snape were far away. "Sorry mate," he muttered as he turned back around and ran.</p><p>He caught up with Snape and grabbed his sleeve, pulling him along faster. Eventually they made their way back out onto the Hogwarts grounds. Once they were outside the range of the Whomping Willow James slowed to a walk. Snape tried to collapse to the ground, but James held him up and told him that they needed to get inside the castle. Halfway there they met McGonagall rushing outside.</p><p>"What's happened?" she screeched.</p><p>That seemed to get Snape out of his daze. He shoved James off of him. "They tried to kill me Professor!" he shouted. "Potter and Black and the others, they tried to get me killed."</p><p>"Are you hurt?"</p><p>"With all due respect," James said, "can we have this conversation inside? He didn't get close to us."</p><p>McGonagall nodded and walked them both inside the castle. Once inside the doors she turned on them demanding answers. Snape was quick to accuse James and Sirius of attempted murder and he demanded that Remus be removed from the school.</p><p>"You can't do that!" James protested. "It's not his fault! What were you thinking going to see a werewolf in person? You're daft!"</p><p>"You are if you think that monster is staying in school after this. I'm telling everyone what he is. There's no way he'll be allowed to stay!" Snape sneered back.</p><p>"That's quite enough," McGonagall said. "I think I've heard everything I need to hear tonight. Mr. Snape, you will do no such thing. No one should know about this. Mr. Potter, while your actions were brave they were also quite daft. You put yourself in danger too."</p><p>"Brave?" Snape interrupted. "He only did it to save his own skin!"</p><p>McGonagall shot him a look that clearly said she didn't appreciate being interrupted. "You are much too close to this to see that he saved your life tonight, regardless of how it was put in danger in the first place. Now, we will deal with this tomorrow with Professor Dumbledore. I expect both of you there and, Potter, tell Black and Pettigrew to come along as well."</p><p>"Yes Professor," James said softly. Now that the adrenaline rush was gone, his face really hurt.</p><p>"I expect you both to go to your dormitories and say nothing of the matter until our meeting tomorrow. Potter, you should go see Madame Pomfrey first and get that nose fixed."</p><p>They both nodded and all went their separate ways. James spent the night in the hospital wing because Madame Pomfrey thought he might have a concussion. He didn't mind too much. He didn't think he was ready to face Sirius yet.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. The Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning he went back to the dormitory and Sirius and Peter jumped up immediately. It appeared as though they had been up all night. "What happened?" Sirius asked, worried.</p><p>"Is Moony okay?" Peter asked at the same time.</p><p>"He didn't touch us," James said stoically.</p><p>"Where have you been?" Sirius continued.</p><p>James didn't answer. "We have to go. We're expected in Dumbledore's office." He turned right back around and left the room without waiting for the other two.</p><p>The meeting was tense and took forever. Snape was insisting that all four of the marauders should be kicked out of school and that the ministry should be made aware of their actions. James, Sirius, and Peter all insisted that Remus was innocent; he didn't hurt James or Snape and didn't know any of this had happened. They also all three insisted that they didn't mean for anyone to get hurt. Despite Sirius acting alone, James and Peter stood by him with Snape and the professors, because that's just what the marauders did.</p><p>In the end Dumbledore agreed that Remus did not need to be punished. The other three marauders got detention for reckless behavior, though it was agreed by all but Snape that they hadn't acted maliciously in an attempt on his life. Dumbledore had mentioned the possibility of Snape getting detention as well for his reckless behavior in going down there in the first place, but apparently thought better of antagonizing him against the marauders any further. He instead insisted that Snape promise not to reveal Remus' secret to anyone and he wouldn't speak of it after this meeting. Snape fought it, but eventually agreed through gritted teeth and they were all free to go.</p><p>When it was just the three marauders again Peter breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one. Wasn't sure which way Dumbledore was going to go for a moment."</p><p>"I knew he wouldn't do anything too bad," Sirius said confidently. He didn't seem shaken by the events at all. "I can't believe Snape actually went down the passage! What an idiot! Just wait until Remus hears about this." He was laughing.</p><p>James snapped. "What exactly do you think Remus is going to think? You think he's going to find it funny? You're wrong! He's going to be mortified that Snape knows his secret."</p><p>"Snape already-" Sirius started, but James kept going.</p><p>"He's going to be mortified that he could have killed someone! You know that's always been his biggest fear and you risked it. For what?"</p><p>"Calm down James," Sirius tried. "No one got hurt. He'll be fine."</p><p>"He won't be fine. I'm not fine! I can't believe you did that! You jeopardized everything! You told our biggest secret to our worst enemy and you don't even care. After everything, you still don't see how wrong you were."</p><p>"I was just having a bit of fun. You don't even know what that is anymore."</p><p>"Come off it. Just because I finally grew up doesn't mean I don't know how to have fun. You clearly don't if this is your idea of fun: putting people's lives at risk. You've ruined everything! Can't you see that?"</p><p>"How have I ruined everything? What have I ruined?" Sirius was starting to get angry now too. He didn't like being questioned and accused like this.</p><p>"You put us all at risk without even thinking about it. You've ruined our friendship. How are we supposed to trust you now? How are we supposed to get past this?"</p><p>"Just move past it!"</p><p>"You aren't stupid mate, you know it doesn't work like that."</p><p>"So, what? We aren't friends anymore? Just like that?"</p><p>James just shrugged and walked away.</p><p>"Wormtail?" Sirius questioned, looking to Peter who had stayed out of the fight until now.</p><p>"Sorry Pads," Peter said sadly, and turned to catch up with James.</p><p>Just when James thought his life was on the right track, this happened to mess it all up again.</p><p>It was nearing noon by the time they had come out of Dumbledore's office, so James headed to the dormitory to shower and change his clothes before going downstairs for lunch with Peter. He ended up not having much of an appetite, but spent the time pushing some food around on his plate anyway. After a few minutes, the sixth year Gryffindor girls plopped down next to the two boys.</p><p>"Afternoon," Mary said sweetly. "Where are Remus and Sirius today?"</p><p>"Who cares," James muttered angrily, stabbing his food with a hard jab.</p><p>Peter cleared his throat and answered instead, hoping to keep any issues they were having within their group. "Well Remus had to go visit his mum yesterday, but he should be back tonight. Sirius is having a lie in still, the lazy bum." He was smooth. James supposed it was thanks to the years of practice they all had covering for one another.</p><p>"Still in bed?" Alice asked. "I've never known him to pass up two meals in a day!"</p><p>"He said something about having a long night…" Peter pulled a slightly disgusted face.</p><p>"'Nuff said!" Marlene said, putting her hands up. "I don't need to hear about Black's latest conquest while I'm trying to eat."</p><p>"And why's that?" teased Alice, but Marlene jabbed her friend in the ribs, stopping any further comments.</p><p>Quietly, though James could still barely hear, Mary leaned into Peter. "What's going on with James? Is he alright?"</p><p>"Just tired I think," Peter lied. "Sirius is a talker. We were all up late."</p><p>Mary seemed to accept the explanation and went back to her food. Lily leaned into her then and whispered something in her ear, looking at James the whole time. Mary shrugged and whispered back, but whatever she said didn't do anything to change Lily's mood. Lily simply continued to stare at James with a thoughtful expression; the rest of the meal passed on in silence.</p><p>Finally, like they could read each other's minds, the four girls all stood up. "You two coming back to the common room?" Alice asked.</p><p>Peter nodded quickly and got up as well. He seemed uncomfortable and all too happy to leave the current situation. When James didn't move Alice asked again. "James?"</p><p>"No I – " he stopped himself and took a breath. He didn't want to be around anyone right now, but how was he supposed to explain that? "I'm heading down to the quidditch pitch for a workout."</p><p>"I think Ravenclaw is having practice," Marlene warned.</p><p>James shrugged. Thankfully no one pushed the matter any further and they walked away. James watched them go for a while, wishing that he had the heart to go with them. Now that he wasn't talking to Sirius he really couldn't afford to push anyone else away. He figured this one time probably wasn't a big deal though. Just as the group was reaching the doors he saw Lily say something and break away. The others kept going, but Lily turned around. She was coming back. He looked around trying to see if she had forgotten something, but didn't come to any such conclusion before she was there.</p><p>"What's going on with you?" she said, sounding a bit miffed. James apparently didn't do a good job of hiding his emotions, because as soon as he looked up at her, her face softened and she spoke again. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing's wrong. Tired." James figured it would be best to stick with Peter's story, just in case.</p><p>"Codswallop," she said bluntly. "I know you. I especially know when you're angry. You're angry about something, so what is it?" James didn't answer. "I knew this little peace period we had going on wasn't going to last. It's been too long since we fought. So just tell me what it is that you're angry about and let's get it over with."</p><p>"You think I'm mad at you?" James asked. Why would she assume that?</p><p>"Well I'm usually the only one you're mad at. Me or the Slytherins at least. Did something happen? Did Snape do something?"</p><p>Apparently she was right: she did know him pretty well. Bloody Snape; it's all his fault! James sighed to himself then. He couldn't make himself believe that. He knew whose fault this all really was. He wasn't about to discuss the matter with anyone though. He made a mental note to go to the hospital wing to see Remus and talk to him at least about the situation. He wasn't sure how much he knew already. "Nothing happened, just leave it alone Evans."</p><p>"I just want to help!"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"I don't know." She faltered a bit. "I just do."</p><p>James laughed. That wasn't really an answer. "Whatever. Talking isn't going to help me, so just stop worrying."</p><p>"What if we didn't talk?"</p><p>"What?" James thought he was going crazy. Surely she wasn't offering… This is never how it happened before.</p><p>"That always helped before, right? Why not now?" She was serious.</p><p>James couldn't believe it, but he also didn't have the energy to really question it. He nearly took her up on the offer and dragged her down to the dungeons, but he stopped himself once he gave it a bit of thought. "I can't," he said, almost more to himself than to her, though she heard him all the same.</p><p>"If you mean because you want to workout, I think – "</p><p>"No," he cut her off. "That's not it. I just… can't." He was just as surprised at his words as she seemed. Turns out he grew up even more than he thought. He couldn't keep doing this fooling around, not dating thing with Lily. She didn't care about him as anything more than that, but he did, despite his efforts to get over her. He still fancied her like crazy, but realized that he was just going to hurt himself by continuing this thing of theirs.</p><p>"Okay," she said slowly, clearly confused.</p><p>He decided then to continue with this maturity thing he had going and tell her the truth. "You probably won't believe me when I say this, but I've always fancied you. I played it up as a joke after you turned me down the first time so that you wouldn't know how much it hurt. When you kissed me for the first time last year, it was like the best day of my life. I thought all my dreams had come true. I realize now though that that's not what happened. It was hard being with you without actually being with you and knowing that you didn't actually like me, especially not the way I liked you." She looked surprised and a little confused. "It was really hard. It's not your fault; you didn't know. I just can't put myself through that anymore. I don't mean to be rude, but maybe we can just stay away from each other for a while. Then maybe we can be friends some day."</p><p>Lily still hadn't said anything, but James didn't need her to. He needed to get all of that off his chest. He hoped that it was the first step in actually getting over her. He left her sitting there in the Great Hall and walked to the hospital wing to see Remus. It was time to deal with what happened the night before and figure out what they were going to do about Sirius.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. A Night in the Hospital Wing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Madame Pomfrey had refused to let James in to see Remus when he got to the hospital wing.</p><p>"Please," he begged, "I have to see him. I need to talk to him about last night. Does he know what happened?"</p><p>Her face softened, but she still didn't let him inside. "He woke up feeling worse than usual and I told him that there was an incident, but that's all he knows for now. Professor Dumbledore is going to come by soon to talk to Remus about what happened. I can't let you in before then. I shouldn't even be telling you this."</p><p>James was angry, but he knew that she was just doing her job. "Just- Just make sure he knows that he didn't do anything wrong, that he didn't hurt anyone. Don't worry him with the suspense of waiting for Dumbledore, please. It's his worst fear."</p><p>Madame Pomfrey hesitated but eventually gave James a small smile. "I think I can do that, as long as you stay out until after Dumbledore leaves."</p><p>"Deal!" James said instantly. "I'll be waiting right here until then." He plopped down on the ground and sat against the wall outside of the door.</p><p>"No surprise," she muttered to herself with a smile as she walked back into the room and closed the door.</p><p>James just sat there. He figured he could probably sneak in once Madame Pomfrey went back into her office, but he didn't want to risk not being allowed in later. He wished that he had the map with him so that he could at least keep track of Dumbledore and see if he was on his way. He thought about running back to the dormitory to grab it, but he didn't want to miss him and he especially didn't want to run into Sirius.</p><p>So, James just sat there. It seemed like ages before he saw Dumbledore coming down the hallway. James sat up straighter, but Dumbledore barely even acknowledged him before walking into the hospital wing and closing the door again behind him. Not too long after the door opened again and Dumbledore left.</p><p>"He's all yours,' he said looking down at James. "I expect he will have a lot of questions for you. I filled him in on the main points, but I left the details out. Thought maybe it would be better coming from you."</p><p>"Thank you sir," James said quickly, then he practically ran into the room and up to Remus' bed. When he pulled the curtains back he stopped.</p><p>Remus looked mortified and like he could start crying any moment. James instantly felt a wave of pity wash over him as well as a wave of anger towards Sirius that he tried to keep down. Remus didn't need James' anger right now.</p><p>"What happened?" Remus croaked out. James closed the curtains and cast a Muffliato charm to ensure Madame Pomfrey couldn't eavesdrop, though he was sure that she would give them space as long as possible. Then he sat down in the chair next to the bed, looked Remus in the eye, and told him the entire story. He had tried to keep an even tone throughout the story so that he could get Remus' true opinion on the matter rather than pushing his own bias. When he was done there was a long pause. Remus was staring at his lap and James was staring at him, waiting for him to say something.</p><p>"I don't get it," Remus said softly, shaking his head. James didn't say anything, letting Remus continue processing. "How could he do that?"</p><p>"I don't know," James sad sadly, though he couldn't hide the anger in his voice anymore. "I keep asking myself the same thing."</p><p>Remus looked up. "You did a stupid thing."</p><p>"Me? I didn't – "</p><p>"You ran right into danger! What if I had hurt you?"</p><p>"Moony, I did what I had to do. I knew what I was running into; Snape didn't."</p><p>"You shouldn't have been put in the situation to begin with. I should have never – "</p><p>"No," James cut him off. He shook his head and laughed a bit. "You aren't blaming yourself for this. I'm not letting you even try going there. You're right: I shouldn't have had to be in the situation, but you didn't put me there, Sirius did."</p><p>"He didn't know what he was doing," Remus reasoned.</p><p>"He's a grown man."</p><p>"He claims to be," snorted Remus.</p><p>"He's nearly of age. If he isn't then that's on him," James continued. "We can't keep justifying his actions. You've always been responsible, and I grew up a lot this year if I may say so myself. Sirius didn't; he got left behind and he knew that so he lashed out." Remus was shaking his head. He clearly didn't want to hear what James had to say. James knew that he was still trying to come up with a way to make this whole thing his fault, but he wasn't going to let that happen. "You know it's true Moony."</p><p>"Okay," Remus nodded. James saw the spark of anger finally come to his eyes. "So what do we do about it now?"</p><p>"You were hurt the most. I'll follow your lead. Whatever you want to do."</p><p>"I can't ask you to do that. I don't think I can be around him right now, but you shouldn't be asked to give up your best friend for me."</p><p>"Come off it mate. You're just as much my friend as Sirius, and trust me, I can't be around him right now either." That wasn't entirely true. As much as James loved Remus and Peter, he was always closer with Sirius. That didn't matter though, not now.</p><p>James lightened the mood then. Everything that needed to be said had been and there was no use dwelling on it. He spent the rest of the day by Remus' side cheering him up and making sure he didn't have the chance to blame himself for any of the mess. He didn't realize how late it was until Madame Pomfrey interrupted to tell James that visiting hours were over and to look over Remus again.</p><p>"Poppy," James smirked, "you wouldn't actually kick me out, would you? Look at him! He's tip-top. I'm the best medicine around!"</p><p>Madame Pomfrey rolled her eyes. "You know visitors are not allowed to stay overnight. No exceptions." Remus smacked him upside the head and laughed. James laughed too, rubbing the back of his head where Remus hit him. "You do seem 'tip-top' Mr. Lupin. You should be good to go tomorrow morning after your last round of potions. As for you Mr. Potter," she turned to look at James, "head injuries are not to be taken lightly. I think you need to stay the night just in case you have a concussion."</p><p>James and Remus both looked at her in astonishment. She didn't say anything more, but she threw them a smile and a wink before leaving.</p><p>"I can't believe it," Remus said laughing. "I can't believe she's letting you stay. You and Sirius get away with everything I swear." He stopped; he clearly hadn't realized what he was saying until it was out.</p><p>James pushed forward, not letting the mention of Sirius ruin their good mood. "I have her wrapped around my finger, Moony. Don't you know? She wants me." James draped himself over Remus in the bed.</p><p>Remus howled with laughter and tried pushing him off. "Yes, it's obvious that she's in love with you."</p><p>"Pity, really, that I can't give her what she wants. I just can't limit myself to one bird like that!" Remus gave him a thoughtful look then. "What is it?"</p><p>"Nothing. It's just… I never would have pegged you for the 'dating around' type. That's more Sirius' scene. I'm not trying to judge, I just don't know where it came from."</p><p>James looked at his friend, trying to quickly think about what to say. He couldn't very well tell him that he had been hooking up with Lily Evans for a year before spectacularly mucking it all up and the dating around was part anger, part trying to get over her; could he?</p><p>"What the hell," James muttered to himself, and then he told Remus everything. Every detail from their first kiss to earlier that day when he told her how he felt. He left nothing out, except for the times when Remus begged him to spare him the more sordid details. They stayed up all night while James recounted the last year and a half.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Happily Ever After</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning they were both exhausted when Madame Pomfrey came in to give Remus his last potion and let him go. She told him that he didn't have to go to classes if he didn't want to. He didn't want to skip classes; usually he was grateful when the full moon fell on a weekend so that he wouldn't have to miss any days, but he was tired and wanted to get some sleep. James decided to skip as well and also catch up on some sleep, so they headed back towards the dormitory.</p><p>When they got there, Sirius and Peter were still in the room, though they looked like they were just about to leave. "You're back!" Peter cried when they walked in the door.</p><p>"Hey Pete," Remus smiled a little. "Yeah. It was a hard full moon, so Madame Pomfrey kept me an extra night. I'm fine now, just need some sleep." Sirius stood silent though, James noted, he at least had the sense to look a bit sheepish. Remus didn't acknowledge him, however. He walked right to his bed and laid down, pulling the curtains closed around him.</p><p>"Want us to wait for you?" Peter asked, turning to James.</p><p>"Sorry mate, you're going to have to go on without me. I'm dead tired. I'm going to skip classes today, at least the morning ones," James answered. He also started making his way towards his bed.</p><p>"Why are you both so tired? Did you spend the night in the hospital wing too?" Sirius asked.</p><p>James looked at him but didn't respond. "Come find me at lunch Wormy," he said finally, still looking right at Sirius. "Maybe I'll keep you company for afternoon classes." James sat down on the edge of his bed and started taking his shoes off. In the corner of his eye he saw Sirius make a move, but Peter stopped him and pulled him out the door. Once they were gone James let out a deep breath. He laid down, still fully dressed. He was sure he wasn't going to be able to get any sleep at this point.</p><p>Sure enough, he was still wide-awake staring at the ceiling when he heard the door open back up a few hours later. He didn't get pick his head up until he heard Peter's voice.</p><p>"Don't worry," Peter whispered, "It's just me."</p><p>"Where is he?" James said back quietly, trying not to wake Remus.</p><p>"I told him to get us a seat for lunch and I'd come get you."</p><p>"I'm not sitting with him."</p><p>"So we aren't going to be friends with him anymore?"</p><p>"Sorry Wormy, we decided that last night. You can do whatever you want, just pick a side."</p><p>"I'm on your side, on Moony's side, you know that!"</p><p>"Great! Then it's settled; we won't sit with him." James started walking towards the door to leave.</p><p>"It's not that easy Prongs. I know you don't like him right now, but we can't let everyone know that something is wrong. Rumors will spread, people will talk, and we don't need the extra attention. We can hate him and ignore him all you want in private, but publicly we need to stay civil, at least for now."</p><p>James sighed. If people knew that something was wrong between them they would wonder what the fight was about. They'd know it must be something big, which would make it hard to lie about, and there's no guarantee that Sirius would go along with it. "Fine. I don't like it, but you're right. Let's go get lunch. I'll be civil."</p><p>James convinced himself the whole way downstairs that it wouldn't be that bad. They would just eat in silence and it would be over. His anger bubbled back up to the surface, however, when they walked into the Great Hall and he saw Sirius sitting and laughing with the sixth year Gryffindor girls like nothing was wrong. "I lied," he whispered to Peter, "I can't do this."</p><p>"Yes you can," Peter whispered back as they were reaching their saved spots at the table. "Just don't say anything."</p><p>They sat down and James did just that. He didn't say anything for the entire meal. A couple times Mary or Alice tried to pull him into the conversation, but he stuffed his mouth full and gave them an apologetic look to get out of it. He mostly just ate and stared at his plate. He couldn't stand to look up and see Sirius having a good time. He also didn't really want to see Lily after their conversation the day before. Overall, he was uncomfortable and getting angrier and angrier as time went on and Sirius kept talking. He couldn't wait for lunch to be over.</p><p>Fairly soon, though not soon enough for James' liking, everyone started getting up to go to their next class. Just as James stood up he felt a clap on his back and heard Sirius' voice. "Right Jamie?" The git was smiling at him.</p><p>James looked around. The girls were all calm and smiling and Peter was looking at him with a worried but pleading expression, nodding softly. Sirius was pushing his luck, but Peter was begging James to play nice. "Yeah," James said finally. "Yeah, right." Sirius hugged him tighter and Peter breathed a sigh of relief.</p><p>They left the Great Hall and the girls went on ahead. Once they were out of ear shot and no one else was paying them any attention James shrugged Sirius arm off his shoulders. "Get off me," he growled.</p><p>"What's wrong mate," Sirius asked. He seemed serious, like he genuinely didn't know why James was mad.</p><p>"You're joking," James laughed. "You're thick if you think that everything is fine after what you did. I can barely stand to look at you and you haven't even tried to apologize, not even to Remus!"</p><p>"Apologize for what? Nothing happened! He said it himself this morning, he's fine!"</p><p>"That's a load and you know it. Look, I'll be civil when there are other people around, but don't expect things to be like they were before. They aren't."</p><p>"Well don't do me any favors!" Sirius screamed and stormed off.</p><p>"Fine," James shouted after him. "I won't!" Then he turned to Peter. "I don't think I should go to class. I'll catch up with you later." And he walked off. Unfortunately, Sirius had gone in the direction of Gryffindor tower, so James had to go another way to avoid him.</p><p>He wandered the halls for a while, steaming and muttering to himself. At one point he got so wound up that he punched the wall. Growing up as a wizard, anger-fueled fights were always magical rather than strictly physical. He had never been driven to physical violence, but he could see why muggles did it. Looking at his hand and feeling the pain throb, he figured maybe punching stone wasn't his best idea. He would need to find another way of letting off steam. Just then, like magic, Lily Evans walked around the corner.</p><p>"What are you doing here?" James asked harshly. "Shouldn't you be in class?"</p><p>"Flitwick just let us out. Peter showed up alone. Said you weren't feeling good again. I knew that was rubbish. I have a free period now. I had to come find you."</p><p>"Good for you, you're so smart. Now that you've found me, you can kindly leave me alone."</p><p>She ignored his comment. "Oh my! Your hand! What happened?"</p><p>"Don't worry about it Evans! I asked you yesterday to give me some space, why can't you just do that? Do you like torturing me?"</p><p>"No I – "</p><p>"You hate me, remember? Go back to that."</p><p>"I don't – "</p><p>James was screaming now, not letting her get a word in. "I can't do this! I thought I made that clear yesterday. I can't be around you right now. Between you and Sirius I just – "</p><p>Lily cut him off with a kiss. It felt all too familiar to him. He fell into it and kissed her back harder. He let himself forget everything as he dragged his lips down her throat.</p><p>"Mmm," she moaned, "we're in the middle of the hallway."</p><p>He pulled himself away slightly and looked around. He smirked and, without explanation, dragged her to a tapestry just down the hall and pushed himself into her, moving them both into the secret nook behind it. He immediately captured her lips again, stopping any question about how he knew about this place. He didn't want to talk anymore; he just wanted to forget.</p><p>She let him, wrapping her arms around his neck as he crashed them into the wall, pinning her against it with his hips. They continued on in that way, not so slowly losing articles of clothing one at a time. They were both down to just their underwear.</p><p>"James," she said in his ear when he was sucking at her neck again. "I want you, now."</p><p>James groaned and pulled back. He was just about to give her what she wanted when he saw her face and stopped. It was like everything came rushing back to him. He remembered who he was and what was happening. Her eyes were still closed and she ground herself against him impatiently. He grabbed her hips to stop her movement, sure that he would lose all self control if she kept doing that.</p><p>She opened her eyes then and looked at him. "What? What's wrong?"</p><p>"We have to stop. You're first time shouldn't be in some dark alcove off the hallway. Besides, if we do this I would just be using you to forget my problems, and that's not fair to you." He stepped back and picked her skirt off the ground handing it to her.</p><p>Lily blushed, holding the skirt in front of her to cover herself. James turned away to give her some privacy and redress himself. "You know," she said to him, "it's my decision where I should and shouldn't lose my virginity, not yours, and it's my job to decide what is and isn't fair to me." She put her hand on his shoulder.</p><p>He didn't turn around. "It isn't fair to me either," he said sadly. "I wouldn't feel right if I did this for the wrong reasons, and you heard what I said yesterday. I can't keep doing this with you, it hurts too much when it's over."</p><p>She pulled her hand away. "What if it didn't have to be over?" He turned around and he was looking right at him. "Ask me again."</p><p>"What do you…?" he trailed off, not sure what she was saying or what to say to her.</p><p>"Ask me out again James, like you used to."</p><p>His eyes narrowed. "Lily," he started and she smiled, "will you go out with me?"</p><p>"Yes!" she said instantly.</p><p>"Really?" he dared a small smile himself.</p><p>"Yes."</p><p>"Really? Go out like in public, dates in Hogsmead, I can tell people, call you my girlfriend, everything kind of go out with me?"</p><p>"Yes, yes, yes," she giggled as he scooped her up into a hug.</p><p>"I don't get it," James said, laughing as well. "What changed?"</p><p>"You did, and I did. You grew up, and I realized that I've been so wrong about you. You were great when everything happened with Liam and now something is bothering you and I couldn't stand not being able to help. I'm sorry that I didn't realize what that meant yesterday."</p><p>"Would have saved me the embarrassing speech."</p><p>"It wasn't embarrassing! It was sweet." She smacked him lightly on the chest. "So now that we both know where we stand with each other, will you let me help you with whatever is going on with Sirius?"</p><p>"It doesn't matter right now. All that matters right now is that you finally said yes. I just want to be happy about that today."</p><p>They left the alcove and walked back to Gryffindor tower together hand in hand. If it wasn't obvious that they were together James screamed it at everyone that they passed along the way. It wouldn't take long for the whole school to find out.</p><p>Indeed, Lily's dorm mates already heard by the time they walked into the common room after their class. They all squealed when they saw James and Lily sitting together on the couch.</p><p>"I thought for sure the rumors were false," Marlene said walking up to them. Peter was with them and they all sat down together, the girls grilling them for details. Not long after, Remus came downstairs and was filled in. Both he and Peter just smiled at James, both probably caught off guard by the development but not nearly as surprised by it as the girls were.</p><p>"Oh I just knew you two would end up together," Alice sighed.</p><p>"Who would end up together?" Sirius asked from behind James. He must have just gotten into the common room.</p><p>"James and Lily!" exclaimed Mary, clapping happily.</p><p>"Yeah right," Sirius scoffed, but stopped short when he saw their position on the couch and their hands clasped together. "Bloody hell! You have to tell me how you finally convinced her." He went to sit down, but thought better of it when he saw Remus' face. He wasn't even trying to hide his glare. "Uh, actually," Sirius stuttered, "I'll need a rain check on that story. I just remembered that I've got something I need to do." He left right back out the portrait hole, and all three boys relaxed. The girls didn't seem to notice, still too busy gushing over Lily and James. Lily gave his hand a small squeeze of support.</p><p>Weeks went by and, eventually, the excitement over James and Lily getting together died down. People stopped staring at them in the halls and asking them about the details. Over that time, Sirius grew more and more distant. He stopped trying to pretend like everything was fine and mostly stayed to himself away from them. James was happy at first. He was still mad at Sirius and he had Lily now, and that meant that the other girls came around the marauders as well, so they kept themselves entertained. After a while though, he really missed his best friend. Despite what Sirius did, James felt like he couldn't be fully happy, even with Lily, without his best friend to share it with. Remus approached him about it one day when they were alone in the dorm room.</p><p>"You've got everything you ever wanted, so why have you looked so miserable lately?" Remus asked him.</p><p>"Why would I be miserable?" James asked back, pretending he was fine.</p><p>"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you miss Sirius."</p><p>"I don't – "</p><p>"Don't bother. I miss him too."</p><p>James sighed. "He still hasn't apologized."</p><p>"Maybe he will if we give him the chance. We haven't exactly been open to talking to him." James nodded. Remus had a point. "Check the map and see where he is, maybe we can try and talk to him."</p><p>James did as Remus said and looked for Sirius on the map. He quickly found his name and noticed that he was alone at the astronomy tower. He relayed the information to Remus.</p><p>"Let's go then," Remus clapped as he stood up from the ground.</p><p>"Right now?" James asked. It all seemed so sudden.</p><p>"Now is as good a time as any, right? I'm done being angry, aren't you?"</p><p>James nodded in agreement and they headed off towards the astronomy tower in search of Sirius. He was still there and still alone when they got up the stairs. Sirius turned when he heard them but then turned away again and looked back out along the grounds. "Come to push me off?" he asked.</p><p>"Don't tempt me," Remus joked. "Came to talk to you actually." Sirius faced them again and his eyebrows rose in surprise. "We haven't really given you the chance to talk to us and figured we would hear you out if there was anything you wanted to say." James thought for sure that this wasn't going to go well. Sirius would be defensive and not want to apologize.</p><p>He was pleasantly surprised when Sirius spoke. "I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I wasn't thinking. I did a stupid thing that could have gotten a lot of people hurt, especially you Moony, which wasn't my intention. I'm a git and I deserved for you guys to be angry with me. The last couple months have been torture alone and I really want things to be normal again." There was silence then as he took a deep breath.</p><p>"Anything else?" Remus asked.</p><p>"Uh… I'm sorry again, and um I'll- I'll do anything you want me to in order to make it up to you."</p><p>"And?"</p><p>"Bloody hell Moony. What do you want me to say?"</p><p>Remus laughed. "Nothing. Just wanted to see how far you'd go."</p><p>Sirius laughed then too and James found himself joining in. Everything would be okay.</p><p>The three of them walked back to Gryffindor tower together, catching each other up on everything that had happened since they stopped talking. They got to the common room and sat down. Soon enough, Peter walked in and saw them. They didn't have to say anything. He just came over and joined and suddenly it was just like it used to be.</p><p>Until the girls joined, that is. Marlene, Mary, and Alice took seats between the marauders and Lily sat on James' lap. This was definitely not like it used to be; it was better. James smiled as he took in everything around him. At the risk of sounding cliché, he thought to himself that he had finally found his happily ever after.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>